


California (in her eyes)

by Taylahlovee



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Adolescent Sexuality, Angst, Canon, Canon Universe, Closested Max, Closeted Character, F/F, F/M, Girls Kissing, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Max, M/M, Mental cheating, Pansexual Eleven, Period-Typical Homophobia, Secret Relationship, elmax - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-02-07 04:03:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12832896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taylahlovee/pseuds/Taylahlovee
Summary: “Promise?”“Promise.”Eleven's glad she's finally found someone that shares her psychic abilities. Max is just relieved she's got someone in town to talk to; until it turns into something more.





	1. Chapter 1

Moving sucked. That was one of the many truths Max Mayfield had come to realise in the last few weeks. The packing, the cleaning, the thirty-three-hour drive from California to the small Indiana town of Hawkins. The unpacking and the re-organising. She hated it all.

They'd also moved at one of the crappiest times possible, just before Halloween, which she knew was hardly enough time to make friends, which in turn meant she'd probably spend Halloween night alone in her bedroom with a bunch of candy in front of her whilst she watched scary movies.

Living in Hawkins was okay, but she missed California. She missed the familiar beaches with golden sand and crashing waves and the familiar smell of the saltwater in the air, she even missed their crappy neighbourhood and their run-down house.

What she missed most was the cove. When she wanted to surf properly she'd head out to the more populated beaches for the perfect waves, but when she wanted to relax, to paddle out on her board lazily or lay down and listen to the waves crash against the rocks, or if she just wanted to get away from everything for a while that was where she went. She missed California more than she ever thought she would.

And now here she was slap-bang in the middle (well, more on the outskirts) of Hawkins in a crappy house, located on a crappy street, with crappy neighbours who couldn't be bothered to mow their crappy dried-out lawns.

She knew Billy blamed her for the move, hell she blamed herself too. They had moved back because of her after all. She knew her mum would never say so but it had something to do with the experiments she'd gone through. Something to do with Max. Why else would she want to move back to her hometown, back to where she was most in danger?

"You have to leave," her step-brother's annoyingly emotionless voice sounded beside her. She rolled her blue eyes as he fell down onto the other side of the sofa. "Some people are coming over and I can't have an annoying little shit like you hanging around."

"And where am I going to go, ignoramus?"

He took no notice of her name calling, "Go to that crappy arcade down the road or the bowling alley or something, I don't know. Just get out of the house. Some people are coming over. I don't want you here being a brat."

"What, worried I won't fit in with your crowd?"

" _Max_ -"

"Does your dad know about this?" his eyes narrowed and she knew she was stepping on the line that divided what was okay to say and what wasn't, well, if she didn't want to end up walking to school for the next few weeks. He already hated her enough- she was surprised he'd agreed to drive her at all.

"No, and he won't find out either. Keep your mouth shut.”

"I don't make promises." She already knew she was going to keep quiet but she always enjoyed toying with him. She'd almost feel bad if it weren't for all the times he'd been an ass to her. It was only fair. "When are they coming back, anyway?"

He shrugged. "No idea, sometime tomorrow afternoon, probably. Any more pointless questions you want answered, or is that it for now?" She'd figured as much, it would take at least a few hours to get back from the hotel and that wasn't counting all the stops they'd make. Plus she knew they wouldn't be in a hurry to get back, sometimes they'd even spend a couple more unplanned nights at whatever hotel they were staying in. She knew Neil liked to spoil her and take her out but she hated that they stayed out for days at a time, especially when that meant it was just her and Billy home. She also hated the fact that his money was one of the only reasons her mum stayed with him, even when she knew how he treated both Max and Billy, though more-so Billy.

"How about why do I have to leave when this is my house? Hey-" she protested as he grabbed her wrist. It didn't hurt but he had a tight grip on her, which only increased in pressure when she tried to pull away. He pulled her closer by her arm and he looked down at her with serious eyes.

"Stop being so god-damned difficult. Haven't you got any loser friends to hang out there with?"

"We've been here for a couple of _days_ , sorry I haven't gotten your social skills down pat yet," her tone was sarcastic and he pulled her closer, his face screwing up in anger.

"Listen to me. I don't want you hanging around here, they aren't people you want to be associated with. You might not be related to me but we're family now. I gotta look after you. So that's what I'm doing."

It was silent for a moment- his fingers still around her wrist- she didn't know what to say. It was rare that he was nice and this was bordering on it for Billy. She wanted to say _"if they're so terrible why are you hanging out with them in the first place."_ Or something along those lines, but she held her tongue.

"Fine, but you're giving me some money, I'm not going there to sit and watch other people play," she got up to grab her coat from her room.

"Whatever, and grab your board. You're skating home, I won't be coming to pick you up."

"Great big brother right there," she huffed under her breath as she shuffled into the large coat and out to the car, fiddling with the zip on the way out the door with her board under one arm.

The Camaro smelled like expensive cologne and cigarettes, something that was made more obvious when Billy got in the car, reeking of the same scent and immediately lighting a cigarette as he relaxed in the driver seat.

"What, you smoke now?" she coughed and rolled down her window as the smoke hit her.

"You have a problem with it you can skate there as well as back home," was all he said before starting the car and flooring it onto the road. She said nothing.

The drive was filled with loud rock music and she spent more time with her head in her surroundings rather than the radio. Hawkins was such a bleak town compared to California; small and quiet and normal, but she knew it's dark secret. The parts that no one else did, that were hidden under everyone's noses. She shuddered and tried not to think about it. To think about what her mother had gone through. She was surprised she'd wanted to come back at all after what they'd done to her. Wasn't she worried they'd find her again? Something was off.

He dropped her off near the doors and she called out before he could drive away. "Hey jerk, I need some quarters, remember? Can't play arcade games without any quarters, now can I?"

"Do you ever shut up? God, no wonder your dad left. He didn't want to be stuck with you."

She glared at him as he pulled out a handful of quarters from his wallet. She practically snatched them out of his hand, eyes cold and hard. "I hate you."

"We're even, then," he said flatly, without a single care. "And I want you home by ten, at the latest. Or you'll be walking everywhere instead of skating." She flipped him off as he drove away and she felt the tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She wiped them away. No. No crying. Especially not over something her good-for-nothing step-brother said.

She stormed into the arcade, the need to take out her anger on something- anything persistent. She settled for the games. She lost count of how many rounds she played. _Frogger, Pac Man, Galaga, Spy Hunter, Donkey Kong_ and countless games of _Centipede_ and _Dig Dug_ , which were by far two of her favourites. She even played a round of that stupid overpriced _Dragon's Lair_ bullshit.

She stayed for at least a couple of hours, until she was low on quarters and had to think about leaving. She would've almost cared that she'd used most of the money- she knew Billy would expect change, the jerk that he was- but she didn't. He'd get over it, besides he deserved it for being more 'Billyish' than usual today.

She decided to play one last round of _Centipede_ before she left, taking all her anger out on the controls. She was so sick of him. One moment he was treating her like an actual sister, then the next he was back to normal. Her fingers moved rapidly, and it didn't feel like she was playing, merely watching from the sidelines. It barely registered in her mind when she'd beaten the third highest score, and she didn't care, she just kept at it until her luck finally ran out.

"Damn it," she cursed. She slammed her hands down on the controls angrily.

"You're a very violent little girl," she turned her head to see an awkward young man looking down at her. His eyes were unfocused and his forehead was slick with sweat and acne-ridden.

"What do you care?"

"I'm Keith," he said it like he expected her to know him. "I run this place. Ring a bell?"

"I'm new here."

He snorted. "Yeah, I remember practically everyone who comes in."

"No, I mean new in town."

"People move _to_ Hawkins? I thought they only moved away," he said. "You crushed that game of _Centipede_ ," he sounded impressed.

"Yeah, it's nothing. Guess I just got lucky. Anyway, I've gotta go," Max said, turning and walking to the front doors.

"Hey wait," he followed. "I'll give you ten bucks if you can beat the top score on _Dig Dug_."

She furrowed her eyebrows and scrutinised him. "What's in it for you?

"Nothing, besides the satisfaction of seeing Dustin's face tomorrow when he finds his high score has been beaten."

"Look, I haven't got time-" she checked the clock on the wall. "Crap. I've got to be back by ten, I'm going to be so grounded if I'm late. Maybe another time, I've gotta go." She started walking to the doors and he called out and caught up to her. " _What_?"

"Great observation, now what do you want? I have to get going."

"Okay okay, no need to bite my head off. You live on the South side of town, right?"

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, "yeah... how do you know that? What, are you the town stalker?"

"Hey, I haven't stalked anyone."

"Then how did you know where I live?"

"That guy who dropped you off."

"What about him?"

"He's your brother, right?"

" _Step_ -brother," she corrected.

"Right," he scratched his neck awkwardly.

"How do you know _that_?"

"It's a small town. I saw him out the other day with a few people, he was talking about you. You're Max, right? The annoying sister?"

"Step-"

"Alright, _step_ -sister. Anyway, that's you, right?"

Max pursed her lips and nodded. "That's me. So, you're an eavesdropper then?"

"I think that's a bit far, I prefer to be called a persistent listener."

" _Right_...so where is this conversation going? I'm lost."

He walked over to the front desk and grabbed a copy of the Hawkins map and a marker. "We are here," he circled the arcade. This is around where you want to get to right?" he circled the south side of town, just on the left side of the woods. "Cut through here and travel in a north-west direction," he then drew a line from the arcade to the south side. "And you cut five minutes of your time," he passed the map to Max.

She studied it, then him with squinted eyes. "Why are you even offering to help me in the first place?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "You're new, thought I'd help you out. Plus, I'm hoping you might come to accept my offer later, may as well get on your good side."

"Well thanks, but I think I'm better off being a few minutes late then I am walking through the middle of the woods." Then she walked out, skateboard under her arm, without a second glance.

The sound of the board's wheels rolling against the asphalt was familiar in her ears as she skated down the road towards home. She knew when she got home Billy would be waiting for the rest of his money back, and while in the moment it was satisfying to get back at him, when she got home she was screwed. She briefly wondered if anyone was still over. She hoped not. She didn't know them but if they were hanging out with Billy willingly _and_ he had warned her to stay out whilst they were over she knew they were probably trouble.

It happened in the blink of an eye. One second she was on the board, skating around a corner, the next a speeding car full of hooting teenagers was coming at her. Her eyes widened and she skidded out of the way at the very last second and she went down onto the grass.

The sound of laughter as they drove off made her blood boil. "Assholes," she yelled out to the retreating vehicle. She sighed in frustration and stood up on shaky legs. _Crap_. Her board. She looked around frantically. Where was it? Her eyes met the woods and there it was, sitting underneath the twisted branches and her body relaxed in relief. _Stupid teenagers_.

She brushed her jeans off and walked over to pick it up. She picked the board up and her eyes met the large mess of red and yellow leaves, and she thought about what that odd guy at the arcade had said about the shortcut. She bit her lip as she thought it through. All she had to do was walk in a diagonal direction until the woods ended and she'd be home five minutes earlier. But what if he was messing with her? What if it was nothing but a joke? But then, why would he do that if he wanted her to do something for him? He would know she wouldn't help if he was lying, right?

Her feet carried her through the foliage without seeking her permission, and she followed a small path of dry grass that was just able to be seen under the trampled snow. She followed it further into the forest, using it like a path until it thinned out and became less and less noticeable. She huffed in annoyance but continued on, how difficult could it be? All she had to do was walk in one direction

That- she soon discovered- was harder than she initially thought. It felt like she was walking around in circles, around and around but never getting anywhere. She was about to try and her make her way back when she saw it. A light.

It was only a small flicker where she was standing, a tiny orange dot. She followed it anyway, it was better than getting lost. The farther she walked the larger it became larger and larger until she could see the wooden cabin it belonged to and the small girl occupying the front steps. She was engrossed in a book, one of Max's favourites, _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_. She watched as the curly-headed girl, who could hardly be any older than Max if at all, turned to a new page.

Max took another step forward and her foot slipped on a few lone dead fall leaves scattered on the ground, making a loud crunching noise. The small girl's eyes looked up and Max moved back behind the tree, squatting down with her back pressed against the scratchy bark.

She could hear her heartbeat in her ears and feel it beating a mile a minute in her chest. She tried to slow her now frantic breathing and listened for any sign of movement. She waited for what felt like hours, but in reality was barely thirty seconds. She thought she was in the clear, maybe she hadn't seen her. Maybe she could just sneak away. But then...

"I know someone's there."


	2. Chapter 2

Max’s heart was in her mouth as she slowly stepped out from behind the tree and turned to face the other girl. Her eyes scanned Max up and down, and it felt like she thought being examined under a microscope might; every detail and movement being observed carefully. "Who are you?"

"My name's Max," she took a precautious step forwards. "Sorry if I scared you. I'm new here and I- someone told me about this _stupid_ shortcut through the woods to get home and I got lost and-" she stopped talking when the girl's eyes narrowed. Her heart sped up in her chest. "I didn't mean to interrupt you. I guess I should get going." She turned to leave.

"No."

"What?" She turned back to the girl, who seemed like she was deep in thought.

"No. _Stay_." A strange feeling Max couldn't describe surged through her. She approached her slowly, taking small sure steps. "Stop," she froze in her tracks, thinking maybe she'd changed her mind. "Tripwire." Instinctively she looked down and noticed the small wire that she'd nearly triggered. She stepped over it and stopped a few feet from the other girl, moving closer and closer slowly. She didn't understand herself, why she hadn't just left. She could have easily turned and walked away, why didn’t she?

"That's one of my favourite books," Max said, a sad attempt at starting a conversation. She took a few more steps forward. The girl watched her with clouded eyes, face blank of emotions; it made her stomach churn in a strange, unwelcome way, that almost _dangerous_ look on her face. She reminded Max vaguely of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car, one wrong move and she'd run away.

"It's good, right? I know a lot of people who think the movie is better, but I usually prefer the books over the film adaptions." _Shut-up. Stop talking stop talking stop talking. You sound so stupid-_

"You," her voice was filled with a strange emotion that had Max on edge. Had she done something wrong?

"Me?" she questioned. "What about me?"

"I. _Saw_ you," Max took a confused step back.

"What do you mean? Saw me where?" the girl stood up, and Max realised she'd been wrong. She wasn't small at all. In fact, she was at least a couple of inches above herself. Now it was the other way around, she was the deer in the path of the advancing headlights. She went to take another step backwards. The feeling of the wire pressed against her leg stopped her. The enticing pair of eyes came closer and closer until a pale hand was able to reach out and to take Max's arm.

"Hey," she protested when she felt her sleeve being pushed up. “What are you-" and then she froze as realisation set in, followed by panic. It was her _left_ sleeve. She tried to pull away, but the slender fingers tightened around her wrist and then she was looking into those deep, dark pools, ocean blue meeting welcoming honey-brown. The newly developed emotion in them was enough to stop her from attempting to escape her grasp again.

She couldn't quite place her finger on it (possibly because her wrist was being _constricted_ ) and maybe it sounded stupid, but it felt like the other girl was silently communicating with her, telling her it was okay. She'd already gotten further than Max was comfortable thinking about. If it had been anyone else she would have punched them as soon as they'd tried to grab her arm, but for some reason that she couldn't explain it felt natural with this girl. This girl she'd never met before, but strangely, in that moment she felt like she'd known forever. She didn't interfere again, didn't even try to stop her. It was like her body had frozen and completely given up.

Max felt a strange unwarranted shudder pass through her body as the sleeve was pushed just past her wrist. With her other hand, the girl traced the small numbers permanently painted on Max's wrist and stared at them with observant eyes. She looked back up to meet the red-heads gaze.

"How- how did you know that was there?" Max asked as they separated and she tugged the sleeve back down to cover the tiny tattoo.

"Saw you- _it_. Here," she pressed two fingers to her temple and Max swallowed the lump that had grown in her throat.

"In your mind?" She nodded rigidly and Max glanced at her now covered wrist. Who was this girl? And why did Max believe her? Trust her? She wanted to believe she was joking but the sincerity in her words and on her face wouldn't let her.

"We're the. Same," her words were slow and precise and Max watched as she too lifted the sleeve of her shirt to reveal a near replica of hers. Same font, same size, same colour. The only difference was the number. _Eleven_.

She wondered if this girl, _Eleven_ , had been lucky like Max. If she had escaped. Max knew she had gotten out easy, her mother had managed to escape somehow, though she'd never told her how she'd done it and she'd lived a relatively normal life.

"The same," she agreed and she watched as the curly-haired brunette gave a meek smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"How... how long have you been out?"

"Day three-hundred and forty-four."

"That's today?"

The girl nodded. "Today." Max's heart felt like it had sunken in her chest. Not even a year. 

"Do you- do you have abilities too?" she nodded again. In the blink of an eye the book that had been discarded on the steps was in front of Max's eyes, floating mid-air only a few inches away from her face.

“Impressive.”The girl sent it back with a soft landing, then signalled to it with a quick tilt of her head. Max knew what she wanted.

"Your turn."

"You- you want me to- to use my..." she trailed off as she saw the expectant look on her face. "Okay, but I haven't done this in years, just for future reference," she chuckled awkwardly and nodded to herself. "Here goes nothing."

It was harder at first. Max had to concentrate more than she thought she’d need to, and she'd long ago forgotten the rush, the feeling of having so much energy wanting to burst out of her.

The last time she remembered doing this she had been four and she'd somehow managed to open the closet and drag her favourite toy from the top shelf. She'd later been reprimanded and she'd never used them again purposely. Her emotions had caused a few things to tip over or move during the years but that was about it.

Max used a hand as a kind of guide as the energy began to build inside her. She could feel it. Behind her eyes, at the ends of her fingertips. God, all this effort to lift a book. She must have looked like an amateur in her eyes. Eventually she managed to lift it about two feet into the air for a couple of seconds but she soon had to drop it.

"That was harder than I remember," she said in embarrassment. "Looks like you've got me beat."

"Lots of practice," she said. A shiver ran through Max at the sinister connotations hidden under the words. Had she been forced to use them? Is that why her powers were so strong? Max had a feeling it was something along those lines. The questions on the tip of her tongue left a sour flavour in her mouth when she swallowed them down. _That could have been me_.

"What's your name? I haven't had the chance to ask." She was silent for a while. Max thought she hadn't heard her, but then she spoke up.

"Eleven."

Max frowned. She called herself Eleven? "But don't you- I mean, you don't have an actual name? Besides the number? Like how mine is Max?" Oh. Of course she didn't. She'd been in that place for so long, she'd probably never heard her birth name, and that was if she even had one. Some of the other children's mothers hadn't gotten the chance to name their child, and some had died during or after childbirth before they got a chance to.

"El. Short for Eleven. That counts. Right?"

"Um yeah... yeah that counts. Okay, El. It's pretty. Suits you," she managed a smile. She'd forgotten how it had been in the lab. Known by nothing but the tattoo on your arm, no real name, no identity, just another pawn for their experiments.

"Pretty," she repeated.

Max shifted, her arm tired from holding her board. El's eyes snapped to it. Max smiled at the curious expression on her face, watching as she studied the board. She moved it from under her arm and held it so she could see the whole thing. "Have you ever seen a skateboard?"  
She shook her head. "No."

"I've had this for years. Kind of weird riding it here, everyone seems to prefer bikes. It's a lot different to California."

"California?" the word was drawn out.

"Yeah, California. That's where I lived before I moved to the middle of nowhere, or Hawkins, as some people call it," El was still captivated by the board. "You wanna try?" she nodded. "I could teach you, it's easy once you get the hang of it. It took me some time to learn." Time. _Crap_. She'd forgotten her curfew. Billy was going to be pissed when she finally got home.

"Um... maybe some other time, I've gotta go. I'm already going to be in so much trouble when I get home," she went to turn but felt a tight grip on her arm and she whirled around to face eleven.

"You'll come back?" the words were so sincere it made Max's heart flutter in her chest and she swallowed hard. She'd known this girl for what, ten, twenty minutes? Yet she already felt so connected to her. It was probably just the bond they had, the fact that they had come from the same place, she told herself. It was normal to feel that way.

"Yeah, of course."

"Tomorrow?"

"Okay."

"Five. Three. Zero?"

"In the morning?" she asked. That was early for a weekday, even by Max's standards. In California she'd often woken up at six to catch a few waves before school, but she'd never gotten up any earlier. El nodded. Max was planning on refusing so early in the morning but the hopeful look on her face was enough for her to agree. "Okay. I'll be here."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She didn't know whether or not she wanted to get home sooner or later. The faster she got there the faster she had to deal with Billy, but the later she got home the worse the outcome would be. She chose to go with the first option.

It wasn't as difficult as she thought it would be finding her way out of the woods once El gave her direction, which she was thankful for. It was only a short skate down the street after she found her way out and only a few minutes later she was standing outside her door.

She held her breath as she turned the handle and let herself in. It was silent except for the blare of the television. Max made her way to the living room and prayed to whatever higher entity (if there was one) when she saw Billy passed out on the couch.

Max checked the fridge to see if there was anything decent left over from the party. She took a few slices of pizza and some soda, then made her way upstairs to her room.

She lay in bed, listening to the sound of soft rain hitting the roof, she couldn't help but think of the girl, and Max wondered if maybe she was thinking about her too. She couldn't keep her thoughts off of the woods and the cabin and, more specifically, El. She had a lot of questions but they were too jumbled to pull apart and she couldn't be bothered when she was this tired. 

Instead, she slid underneath the covers and closed her eyes, falling asleep in minutes. That night her dreams plagued by visions that night; of pale hands, soft curls and warm brown eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter is okay, I worked hard on making the conversation between El and Max as natural feeling as I could. It ended up being shorter than I wanted but it felt like the right place to cut it off. The next chapter should make up for length.


	3. Chapter 3

Max wasn't embarrassed to say she prided herself on the fact that she hadn't smashed the alarm clock to oblivion, when it woke her up on Wednesday in the early hours of the morning. She'd set it to wake her at four thirty so she'd have enough time to get ready and get to El's house. When she looked in the mirror after she'd gotten changed she noted with disdain the purple bruise-like bags underneath her eyes. _Attractive_ , she sneered to herself as she brushed through her tangled red locks.

If this were for anyone else, she'd probably be back in bed with a good excuse ready, waiting on the tip of her tongue for her to blurt out the next time she saw them. It didn't make sense. She'd met the girl _just_ last night, so why was she so willing to do this for her? and why was she actually anticipating it?

It was an unsettling thing to think about; if she was willing to already do more for her than almost anyone else what would happen the longer she talked to her? It made her stomach flip and churn and tie in curdled knots, as gross as it was to describe it like that. And yeah, Max was probably exaggerating but it was a real exclamation mark, sitting in the back of her mind. She was more of an " _I don't care_ " kind of girl so this new feeling was unnerving.

Max finished her best attempt at making herself look presentable and slipped on her shoes before silently tip-toeing through the house. She checked her mum's room: empty. She sighed in relief. That meant that she only had to get out and back in without Billy finding out; something she decided couldn't be that hard. He was one of the heaviest sleepers she knew.

She made her way out the front and closed the wooden door behind her, skateboard still inside, hidden carefully in the top compartment of her closet for safe keeping. She'd learnt long ago not to keep her things in Billy's clear view. Her right arm felt oddly light without the board underneath it. She didn't think she'd ever be able to go somewhere without her board and not feel weird. It was like an important piece of her was missing.

It wasn't as hard to find her way through the trees during the daytime, and though she still got a little lost a couple of times she managed to find the cabin in less than five minutes. Max was sure she was early when she got to the house and didn't immediately see El sitting outside. She walked to the house and smiled to herself when she saw and heard the door handle being turned. The next ten seconds were a blur.

One moment she was standing there with a huge grin on her face, the next she was sprawled on the ground beside the house being pinned by a weight that held down her whole body. She lifted her spinning head and looked up to find Eleven sprawled on top of her. "What-"

"Shh," El held a finger up to her lips and Max pursed them to keep herself silent. The sound of the door being opened caught her attention. From her position on her back she could barely turn her head to see who it was, but the glimpse she caught- the recognisable stocky male figure in uniform- was enough to tell her who it was. She gasped and felt a cold hand covering her mouth. She glanced up to meet El's eyes again, this time hard and focused.

Max lost track of time as they waited for the man to leave. She was painfully aware of El's body on top of her own and the way their faces were inches apart, separated by nothing but air. She could feel her mess of curls resting against her face as she leaned down closer to Max and watched Hopper retreat. It was only a few minutes later she heard the sound of a car and Eleven sat up clumsily, still positioned on top of Max.

El was still busy watching the car drive down the street and away, seemingly unaware of their awkward position. Max coughed and that was enough to grab El's attention back. Her honey-brown eyes stared down at Max and she felt a warm feeling stir in her usually cold chest.

"You're. Early," she said, scrutinisingly, eyes crinkled in confusion.

"I am?"

She nodded. Five one five. You were supposed to come at five three zero," she said knowingly.

"Oh, sorry. I guess I thought I'd need more time to get here than I did."

"It's okay. just have to be careful. To not get caught. I'm not meant to have. People over," her words were cut off in odd-sounding sections but it was the most Max had heard her talk at one time.

"I won't be early next time," she promised. _Next time_. She scolded herself, did she want to see her again? She knew the answer before she'd even thought about the question. "I didn't know you lived with the Chief."

"He. Found me." _Found?_

"You mean... like, he adopted you?" that was the only thing Max could think of, unless... El shook her head.

"In- in the woods."

Max felt her heart drop. "Were- were you homeless? I mean, did you live there, or something?"

She didn't respond in any way for a few moments, and Max though she had said something wrong but then she bit her lips and nodded. "Yes. Hopper. He... looks after me."

Max nodded her head, "Good."

Max didn't know what else to say, and El didn't seem to have anything to add either. They just sat like that for what felt like hours, Eleven staring down at her with that look of curiosity in her eyes. Max wasn't expecting it when she reached forward, and she moved backwards a little in shock, her whole body jerking back.  She pulled her hand away. They shared a single look, and El leaned forward again, cautiously this time. Max nodded her head, just once as some kind of signal and she reached out to touch a single lock of red hair that had fallen in Max's face.

"You have pretty hair," she said. Max couldn't help the grin that took over her face.

"Really?" she nodded. "I've never thought so."

El frowned. "Why?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, "When you grow up a redhead, you usually come to despise it. In California I don't think I went a day without being picked on for it," she chuckled.

"But. It's," she stumbled over her words in a way that Max thought was cute- though she'd never admit it out loud- and gave up on finding another word. “Pretty."

"You really think so?" she agreed with her usual head shake and twirled the piece of hair around her finger. Max felt a weird fluttering in her belly as the enthralled girl played with her hair, and she sat up on her elbows, trying to shake the new sensation. "You know you can get off of me now, right?" she tried to laugh but it came out sounding strained and unauthentic.

Eleven furrowed her eyebrows like she was confused but scrambled off of Max and onto the ground. Max couldn't help the laugh that escaped her throat as she watched the girl stumble clumsily to sit beside her. "As much as I'd love to just hang out or whatever, was there an actual reason you wanted me to come back today?"

The curly-haired girl shook her head, then frowned. "What is. _Hang out_?" she couldn't help the curl of her lips at the confused look on her face. It made sense that there were some things she didn't understand. From what Max had heard she had a limited vocabulary.

"You know, it- it's," she had trouble finding the right words. "It's when you spend time with someone, someone you like to be with. With friends," she said. El seemed to understand.

" _Friends_. We are. Friends?" She spoke slowly, words drawn out and voice uncertain.

"Yeah, friends," she agreed, an embarrassingly croaky laugh following. They lay like that for a few more minutes, just staring up at the light fall sky. Max would have been content just laying like that all afternoon, no talking, their only communication with each other their small head turns when they'd exchange short glances and smiles. For the first time she felt like a normal teenage girl, like the ones at her old middle school who gathered in their little groups, sharing giggles, gossip, and secrets. The groups she'd never been a part of.

She shivered when a particularly chilly gust of autumn air swept over her, and she tried to fight a smile when El lifted her head and looked at Max curiously, then moved closer until their sides were touching, like that would help. "Cold?"

"Just a little, it's fine," she said.

"We. Can go inside," she said, more a statement than any sort of question.

"El, it's fine," she opened her mouth to argue but then she was being pulled up by her hand and being led up to the cabin. She felt nervous walking into the small wooden house, like she was intruding. Eleven unlocked the door, opened it, shut it and locked again with hardly any effort, and then she was leading her to the living room.

It wasn't impressive by any means, in fact it was quite small but it made Max's heart lurch in her chest. It was cosy and worn-in and homey. Polaroid pictures had been stuck to the walls, some put in frames instead, littering the shelves along with inadvertent knick-knacks and ornaments. It was so different to her own house, that had to be perfect and pristine, that looked more like a display than a place where someone lived. She already felt more at home here than she did in her own house. El wore a proud expression and Max smiled warmly. "Home."

"It's nice," she said, "so, it's just you and Hopper here?" El replied yes in her usual way. "He works most days?" another nod of agreement. "Do you ever get lonely?"

El stuttered, "what- what does lone- lonely mean?"

"Well... it just means- it just means that you feel like you're all by yourself, like you don't have anyone to talk to or just be around or anything."

El looked like she was considering the words before she spoke again. It was barely a whisper but Max caught it. "Sometimes, yes."

Max felt a frown take over her lips. "Well, you have me for now, even though I might not be the best company," she said, trying to lighten the mood. The smile on El's face was more than enough of a reward. "So, what were you planning on doing today?" the smile on El's face only grew.

Max didn't know what she had expected when she walked into El's room, but it definitely wasn't what she found. It was small like the living room, crowded, and contained nothing more than a bed and a bookshelf. There weren't many pictures on the walls like the rest of the house, but there a few right behind the head of her bed.

El shut and locked the window as Max examined the bookshelf, trailing a pale finger across the spines. Some of her favourite authors were there. C.S. Lewis, Charles Dickens, Lois Lowry and many more.

"You like books?"

"Yes." The verbal answer was a shock to Max, who'd gotten used to her just nodding or shaking her head to answer a question.

"Do- do you?” Max smiled to herself.

"I love books. Do you have a favourite?" She nodded and pulled a certain one out. It was a _Roald Dahl_ book. _James and the Giant Peach_.

"I like that one," Max agreed. "My favourite from him has always been _Fantastic Mr. Fox_ though."

El smiled shyly. "I like. That one too."

"Do you ever-" Max cut herself off, feeling the question might come off as rude and maybe a little too personal. El wouldn't let it go though, she looked up at Max with wide eyes, waiting for her expectantly. "I just...did they teach you to write, in the lab?" She noticed her tense and she wished she could shove the words back down her throat. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have- I shouldn't ask stuff like that. Me and my big mouth, right?" She turned and pretended to examine the books again.

"They did," Max turned from the bookshelf. "Just- just enough to-" she struggled as she tried to string the sentence together, Max waited patiently. "For me. To un- under- stand them. And do what they. Wan- wanted me to." She watched as El dropped her gaze to the floor. Max felt a pang of sadness in her chest and before she could think about what she was doing she'd reached out and put her hand on El's shoulder, trying to comfort her. El tensed again and looked up with suspicious eyes but didn't protest.

"Hey, it's okay. Those people are gone, you're okay," she said.

"What if they come back?" it was the clearest sentence she'd spoken so far and Max felt like her heart was in her mouth. "The bad men."

"You're safe here, okay? Hopper wouldn't have brought you here if he didn't think it was safe, would he?" El shook her head. "He knows it's safe here, you're going to be fine, El."

She looked down at Max and she swore her eyes were glassy and wet in the light. "Promise?"

Max's lips curled up into a warm smile and she nodded. "Promise."

"Can we watch something?" El asked, and Max agreed, watching as she practically skipped out to the living room and turned the small screen on. They sat down side by side, and the previous discussion topic was forgotten.

Max didn't know how long they sat in the living room watching various soap operas and cliché romance movies, she only knew a few hours had to have passed at least. When she said _they_ watched, she really meant Eleven. Max had never been one for television, much less the gooey romantic crap the other girl liked, but watching El become so engrossed in the ridiculous story-lines was more than entertaining enough in its own right.

The way her eyes lit up when someone confessed their love, or the way she gasped when a major plot-twist was revealed, how she seemed so emotionally invested in the character's lives. It was adorable and Max couldn't help smiling every time she did.

She rested her head on the chair, still facing El as she watched the screen intently. Max didn't remember when she began feeling tired, she just remembered her eyes suddenly feeling heavy and it becoming increasingly difficult to hold them open.

She tried to stay awake, tried to focus on El instead of sleep, but she quickly lost the battle with her tired body. The last thing she remembered was seeing El turn to face her. For the second time in a row she fell asleep imagining brown eyes.

She was shaken awake by a hand on her shoulder what felt like only minutes later. In actuality, it had been at least a couple of hours she was sure, based on the darkening sky outside.

She closed her eyes again and pressed her head into the warm pillow she was resting on. Another shake made her open her eyes again. "Max," she could barely make the words. "Max, wake up," the voice as louder this time and Max finally opened her eyes

"Wha- what happened?"

"You fell asleep," she said. Max realised, embarrassed, that the pillow she'd been laying on was Eleven's shoulder. She was surprised the other girl hadn't just pushed her head off and onto the sofa again.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" she asked, sitting up and rubbing her tired eyes. "I'm sorry, I can't believe I fell asleep."

"It's okay. I wanted to. Let you sleep," El said. "Hopper will be. Back soon," she added and that seemed to pull Max out of her dazed state.

"I guess I should get going. What's the time?"

"Six. One. Three."

"Well what time does he come back?" Max dreaded the answer.

"Six. One. Five. That's why. I woke you."

Max jumped up and brushed a hand through her messy hair quickly. "Crap. I've gotta go," she headed for the front door, and in her half-asleep state she barely heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. She did, however, hear the knock. She turned to Eleven, whose eyes had widened considerably.

"Hey kid, open up. I brought take-out. Thought you might look forward to something besides my cooking."

"Hey, what are you-" she cut herself off when she was pulled through the house to El's room and pushed towards the window. She got the hint. She fiddled with the latch but El got impatient and used her powers to unlock it and sent it flying upwards. Max wasn't quite sure how she didn't end up breaking it.

"Come on, foods getting cold," she could hear Hopper's voice from the front door."

"Go," El said, and Max climbed out onto the leaf-covered ground. A grip on her wrist stopped her and El looked back to the front door then to her again. "Come back?"

"I'll come back, I promise," she tried pulling her arm loose.

"When?"

"I don't know- not Thursday or Friday- I can't. What about this weekend?"

 El shook her head. "Hopper will be home. Both days." Another knock on the door sounded, more impatient this time.

"Well I'll come back Monday, after school. Three. Three. Zero."

Eleven seemed to consider it, looking back to the front door again before nodding. "Three. Three. Zero. Okay." Max pulled her arm back. "Go around. The side. Wait for me. To let him in," Max nodded.

"Three. Three. Zero," she repeated like a reminder to El as she shut the window and stalked back through the house. As Max crept up the side of the house she felt a sense of Déjà vu, remembering that morning.

She waited for the sound of the door being unlocked and locked up again, then made her way through the trees that were sure to be familiar soon if she kept up this act.

It was a quiet walk home and she sighed in relief when she made it inside and kicked her boots off. The feeling of relief soon passed though, when she turned and was faced with her step-brother blocking the hallway, a hard expression on his face.

"Where the hell have you been?"


	4. Chapter 4

Billy's eyes hardened and she watched as he took a long drag of the cigarette occupying his right hand, which was followed by a cloud of smoke escaping his parted mouth. It was buried deep, but Max could just make out the worry on his face behind the anger and she swallowed nervously.

She felt a surge of guilt. He'd been like family for years and no matter how hard she tried to hate him she knew that deep down he did care, even if he was a jerk most (ninety-nine point nine percent) of the time.

"None of your business," she said, trying and, she was sure, failing miserably at sounding unfazed. He grabbed her arm and pulled her closer, shortening the distance between them considerably. She tried to pull herself away but his grip was too tight and she winced as she felt his nails digging into her skin.

"Like hell it isn't."

"You've never cared before, why start now?" She tried to pull away again. It was no use.

"You know damn well why, and you know how much shit I'll be in if anything happens to you."

"Whatever," she sighed, shaking her head in frustration as she went to walk past him.

"Where were you last night?" She froze in place when his words reached her ears and it felt like something was stuck in her throat. "Where have you been sneaking off to, huh?" he said as he walked up behind her. She felt his breath on the back of her neck, could feel him looking down at her. A hand grabbed her shoulder roughly.

"What, you meet a boy? Is that it? You been sneaking off to see him?" Her thoughts immediately flew to El, she didn't understand why. She imagined her face in her mind: doe-like eyes, pouting lips, soft curls and her pale skin. She definitely wasn't a boy.

She knew Billy had to have felt the way she'd tensed underneath his hand. She could picture the smirk that had most likely taken over his face.

"I knew it'd happen eventually, but I didn't think it would be so soon. Like mother like daughter, huh? She never knew how to keep her legs closed, that woman. It's a miracle she doesn't have any other children."

Max grit her teeth. Any of the guilt she'd felt had been replaced by anger. " _Shut up_."

"Maybe she does," he ignored her, "maybe she gave them away. Didn't want to have anyone find out because she knew someone would realise they weren't from the same father. Guess she couldn't handle the thought of that, people seeing her for what she really was."

" _Stop it_."

"The truth hurts, doesn't it?" he sneered.

"Shut the hell up, Billy." She felt that same power she'd felt in the woods coming back to her, running through her veins and behind her eyes. She tried her best to control it, but this time it was stronger, harder to keep in, this time she had to fight to keep it contained. She turned to face him and another surge of power.

She heard the sound of glass breaking as one of the various living room various fell to the ground, followed by the beige lamp, both broke into thousands of pieces. Billy whistled obnoxiously and shook his head.

”What's wrong Maxine?" he taunted. She heard something else smash. She didn't look away from Billy to see what it was.

She closed her eyes to try and calm herself, and the electricity in her veins dwindled. "You know what? You don't know what the hell you're talking about. You don't know anything about her- and you don't know _me_. You think you've heard enough, you think you know what we went through- what _she_ went through. You think you know everything about her, but you don't know anything. You weren't there. You can hate my mum and blame us for everything if you want, but you don't know anything. Not a single thing, _Hargrove_. So don't act like you do."

It was silent between them for too long. She surveyed the hard look on Billy's face before she turned to walk down the hall but he quickly followed suit and grabbed her by the jacket, pulling her backwards. She stumbled ungracefully.

"Let go of me," she said as she tried to pull away. She heard the sound of the material stretching but she didn't care. It was hand-me-down anyway.

"Aw come on Max, I'm just messing around," his voice dripped with fake innocence and she tried to pull away again only for him to grab her with his other hand too, pulling her close by the jacket, which she was sure had a tear from all the tugging.

"I'm serious Billy. Let _go_ ," she pushed against his chest and he just laughed.

"And what if I don't, huh? What are you going to do? Are you gonna use your powers on me?"

"Stop it-"

"Come on Max, do it. Show me what you can do. I wanna see this shit, come on," she shook her head. " _Come on_ ," he shook her shoulders. "Do it. Do it. Do it," he taunted. She shook her head again. " _Do it_ ," he roared, shaking her and pulling her closer.

"Stop," she yelled. It felt like it happened in slow motion. One second he was beside her and the next he was flying backwards through the air before she could even process what she'd done. Her eyes widened at the sick crack when his back collided with the wall and he slumped over, his eyes closed.

She stood there for a few seconds, watching as a small flow of blood ran down the wall where his head had been seconds before. Then she was running over and kneeling down beside him. She reached out a hand and shook his shoulder, she jumped back when his hand snaked out quickly, trying to grab her again. He smiled stupidly and opened his eyes, a laugh escaping his lips despite the situation.

"You're crazy."

He sat up and held the back of his head his fingers came back smeared with blood and he brought them up to his eyes, chuckling as he looked at his stained hand. She shook her head in disbelief and stood up; took one last look at Billy and ran down the hall to her room, locking the door behind her before sinking down to the floor with her back against the flaking wood and her knees drawn up to her chest.

She didn't know what to feel, there were so many emotions bubbling inside her. Anger. Hate. Sadness. Anxiety. Fear. She knew Billy could be an ass but even she had a limit to how much she could take from him. She didn't know what she wanted. Well, that was a lie. She knew but there were so many things she wanted right now that they just overlapped into a big blur.

She wanted to cry, to kick and scream and smash everything that was in her reach but there was another part of her that wanted to curl up under her covers and block out the world, to let the numb feeling that was slowly growing in her chest take over so she didn't have to think; didn't have to feel.

She felt the tears build behind her eyes and bile rise in her throat. She tried to blink back the tears but soon they were rolling down her cheeks like a dam had broken. She didn't know how long she sat there. Her chest hurt from shallow breaths and she was a sobbing mess. It was one of those times where once you start crying, you can't seem to stop.

With her blurry vision the house looked unfamiliar- more so than usual and she was reminded that this wasn't home. It felt like the walls were closing in on her and like her body had completely froze up. She wondered if this was how claustrophobic people felt: like they couldn't move or breath or think of anything but how the room seemed to slowly become smaller and smaller around them. Fuck, she couldn't do this. She couldn't be here.

The rest of the events that took place were a blur. She just remembered the relief when she could finally move and then desperately flinging things around, shoving a few random clothes and other crap into her small duffel bag and feeling of the biting wind as she opened her window and jumped out into the cold. She knew she'd be back. She wasn't running away, but she couldn't be here right now. She wondered blindly down the road. The streetlights were just blurred streaks through her swollen eyes.

 _The truth hurts, doesn't it?_ Billy's words came back to her and she remembered that vicious look on his face and the venom in his voice. She didn't know what to think.

What if he wasn't lying? What if- she didn't finish the thought but it was there. _What if her mum really had lied? What if her father hadn't died? What if what Billy had said held some truth, however minuscule?_ She shook her head to try and clear her mind as she walked. Her beaten-up shoes scraped against the ground with every step. She didn't know where she was going. The one place she could think of was probably a terrible idea to go, but she didn't care. Her feet carried her there anyway.

Compared to during the day, it was a lot more difficult for Max to find her way through the woods at night. The trees often blended in with the darkness and even when her eyes adjusted it was more confusing than it had been that morning.

Max shivered as the wind nipped at her exposed neck and she tried her best to cover her bare skin. It was only a few more minutes of walking before the cabin came into her view and she felt a sigh of relief stick in her throat. She couldn't see any lights on, except for the window she now knew belonged to El's room.

She made her way to the window and peered in from the side of the house so as not to be seen. She watched as the curly-haired girl sat on her bed, engulfed in a book and completely oblivious of her. Max lifted a pale, shaking hand to knock on the glass but hesitated. What if she frightened her. Hopper's knock replayed in her head. She knew it was some kind of signal, though she didn't know what it was.

Cautiously, she lifted her hand back to the glass and tried her best to imitate it. She saw El look up, a confused look on her face when she saw Max standing there. The worry on El's face seemed to fade when she saw her, now it was more a look of pure curiosity. She heard the click of the lock and the slide of the window as it was raised. El popped her head out the window. Her eyes darted around suspiciously, as if she was looking for something, or someone.

"Just me," Max tried to joke but it died in her throat and came out sounding more depressing than anything. She tried to smile but it felt like her mouth was stuck in a permanent frown.

"Why are you here?"

"I- I don't really know," she said, "I had a fight with my brother and I just- I blew up on him and I don't know, I just had to get out. It's hard to explain, she chuckled bitterly. "I didn't know where else to go." She watched as El bit her lip in thought. "I get it if you want me to leave I just-" she cut herself off when El grabbed her hand and pulled her forwards a little as a signal for her to come inside. It was more than she was expecting. Max had thought that maybe she'd turn her away. She wouldn't have blamed her, a girl she barely knew randomly showing up outside her window asking to come in, she'd probably do the same.

She climbed through and ungracefully landed on the bed. Max shut the window and locked it, then turned back to El, only to notice she was watching her every movement. Then she turned and Max heard the sound of the door's lock. A few moments later they were both sitting on the bed with a noticeable space between them that, for some reason, Max had the urge to close.

"Do you. Want to talk about it?" El asked. Max went to shake her head but the concerned look on the other girls face made her change her mind. 

"I don't even know where to begin," she laughed emotionlessly. My brother said some things that really put me on edge and I- I hurt him.

"With-" El trailed off, the unsaid words hanging in the air. Max nodded.

"Yeah. He hurt me too, emotionally. We hurt each other. Neither of us meant it. He just says things to get back at me when he's mad and I didn't mean to but I hurt him. It wasn't terrible but it could have been a lot worse. I could have _killed_ him," she felt more tears well up in her eyes and she felt El's hand touch hers. She looked down at their touching hands and smiled.

"Do you- have you ever heard something, or been told something that completely changes your point of view? I mean really just flips your world upside down and makes you question so many things? El was quiet. "And even if you don't know whether or not its true, you drive yourself crazy thinking about it. That's what it felt like. He was only saying the things he did to hurt me but it's driving me crazy thinking maybe its true."

El didn't ask what had been said, and she was thankful for that. Neither of them spoke for a long time. It was silent except for the sound of the others breathing and the wind whistling through the tree leaves.

"I should go home soon." Eleven's eyes were on her the instant they'd left her mouth. I've already been too much trouble, dumping all my emotional crap on you.

"You know. You can stay if you want?"

Max smiled. "You'd get sick of me pretty quickly."

El protested by shaking her head. "I don't think so. It would. Be like a sleep-over."

"A sleep-over, huh?"

El nodded. "Mike told me. About sleep-overs. Sometimes. Lucas and Will. And Dustin stay over. And he told me. They stay up late."

"Who's Mike?"

Max noticed the sudden mood change and she didn't know what it was, but she knew somehow she'd crossed a line. "A friend."

"And what do people do at these _sleep-overs_ ," she said teasingly, trying to lighten the mood.

El shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Play games. Or watch movies. Or..."

" _Or_?"

"Or we could just talk. Since we cant. Do either one. Of those."

"Talk? About?"

"Anything."

"Anything?"

"And everything."

Max turned her body so she was facing El full on and smiled. "So we're having a sleep-over?"

El seemed like she was thinking for a few seconds, before she nodded. "Yes."

"Well then, what are we gonna talk about?" she grinned.

She didn't know how long they sat there exchanging random secrets or strange facts. They laughed and giggled and Max finally felt like a thirteen-year-old. For once, she didn't have to deal with her step-brother breathing over her shoulder, or her worrisome mother and her alcoholic-abusive husband. She could relax and be a kid.

She hardly remembered moving, but somehow they'd ended up laying down on the bed side to side, their heads next to each other. El's hand was still on top of hers. Talking to her was so natural and she loved that. It felt good. Great even. Until the conversation inevitably headed in the one direction she didn't want it to.

"Max, what's a- a boyf- boyfriend?"

Max felt her stomach flip nervously for some reason she couldn't explain. "It's like having a guy as a friend, but... it's different too."

"Different? How?"

"It's kind of hard to explain. You hold hands and cuddle and kiss with. But they're also a friend, they're a person you can trust them with important things or stuff that's hard to talk about and you know they'll be there for you. They're a friend but more."

El nodded in understanding. " A friend but more."

"Yeah. Why are you asking? What, you have a boyfriend?"

"I don't know." Max didn't understand why she felt disappointed with her answer. Hopper used to say that Mike was my boyfriend."

"Was he?"

"I'm not sure. He- he did kiss me. You said. That's a part of. Having a boyfriend...right?"

"Yeah," Max said. "Do you like him that way?" Max looked at El and she was already looking at her.

"I- I don't know," she confessed. "Do- do you have a boyfriend?" Her stomach dropped. There it was. The question she'd been dreading.

"No."

"Why?"

Max shrugged, trying to seem natural. It didn't work, judging by the look on El's face. " I don't know. I'm not really the dating type." It was a blatant lie.

"Max..." she met the other girl's eyes and the intensity in them scared her. "Friends don't lie."

She sighed in defeat, "I know I know. I guess I just- the truth is I don't know. There's a lot of things going on in my head, things I don't think I can talk about yet. Is... does that make sense?"

El looked at her and nodded, and her eyes were so soft and caring and she felt bad for keeping her in the dark, but she didn't even know what was going on inside her own head, she couldn't even imagine trying to explain it to someone else. El nodded slowly. "But I swear, when I work it out you'll be the first to know," she laughed and El smiled, which made Max's heart speed up just a fraction.

She shifted her head on the pillows and pressed her hand harder against El's, the change small enough that she could have convinced herself it was an accident- if _it_ wasn't there. That feeling, that _thing_ that she couldn't understand or put into words. That gut-wrenching sensation she'd had every time a pretty girl had smiled at her or wrapped her arms around Max in a way that made her push the little voice in her head to the back of her mind.

The one that was always there; making her wonder if she was normal, why she didn’t feel that same connection with any boys. Why even though she tried to deny it, it wasn’t the guys- the ones that her and her friends would watch play sport at recess, whilst Jessie went on and on about how good Brody’s muscles looked- that made her feel all soft inside like it should have been. 

"Promise?" She was snapped out of her thoughts. 

She smiled. "Promise."

And they fell asleep like that, grasping the other's hand, their bodies only inches apart and Max knew in the morning that she'd ignore the fact and push that feeling to the back of her mind again. She didn't know whether it was because of her half-asleep state, but that’s what she told herself it was because the last thought she remembered before she completely fell into darkness, that maybe she didn't want to fight it anymore. And that scared her. 


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

Max was woken early the next morning by the feeling of something tickling her cheeks. It made her scrunch her eyes closed tighter a few times before she finally managed her still heavy eyelids. The sight she opened them to made her feel equal parts flustered and amused. She only just caught the movement of El pulling her hand away from her face, her head was tilted and those innocent eyes were scrutinizing her intently, wide and child-like, leaning over Max.

She'd stayed since Thursday night and every morning since she'd been woken the same way, with El looking over her, waiting for her to open her eyes. Not that she was complaining. She'd never admit it out loud but she kind of liked it for some odd reason.

"Good morning," El said, shifting back and onto her knees when Max made a move to sit up using her elbows lazily and rubbed her eyes.

"Morning," Max mumbled tiredly. "What were you doing?" She swore she saw El's pale cheeks redden, but it was slight if at all and she tried her best to ignore it.

"Nothing just..."

" _Just_...?"

"Pretty," El said, looking her in the eyes.

"You... you think _I'm_ pretty?"

 El nodded. "Pretty," she repeated.

There was that pesky feeling again, making itself known at the worst times. "What time is it?" she pushed the string of thoughts to the back of her head.

"Seven. Five. Three." Max groaned. Too early for a Saturday morning. Shit. Her eyes widened at the revelation. Eleven had said Hopper would be home all weekend. Was he up? She jumped out of bed, stumbling, her tired body was still half-asleep as she made a reach for her bag and dumped it by her side as she sat back down on the edge of the bed and went to pull on her shoes. She looked up halfway through pulling on a sock when she looked up and realised El was staring at her strangely.

"Leaving?"

"Yeah, leaving. Damn it," she swore when she dropped her left shoe and bent down to retrieve it. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier? Hop's probably gonna be up soon, if he isn't already."

"He's not home."

"Do you know how much trouble I'll be in if he catches me? Yeah, that'll be great. The Chief showing up on my doorstep. I won't be able to leave the house for months and-" she stopped herself, the other girl's words finally registering in her head. "Wha- what did you say?"

"He. Isn't home."

"But- I mean I thought you said he doesn't have any work this weekend?"

El nodded. "But he. Got called in. I don't know what for."

Max sighed in relief and collapsed onto the bed, brushing her orange hair out of her face when it fell in her eyes. "Thank god."

"He's. Got to go back tomorrow too. You can s-stay again if you want. Tonight," Max realised that even though El spoke strangely- with too many stops and starts- she'd only heard her stutter a few times before. Max felt the blood rush to her cheeks when she finally admitted to herself it was cute.

"Thanks but I probably shouldn't. My mum’s going to be home either today or tomorrow most likely, so I guess I should go."

"Okay," Max didn't know whether or not she imagined the sadness in El's voice. "But. You'll stay today?"

Max smiled. "Yeah, okay. I'll stay."

Max had learnt a lot of things about El in the few days they'd been together. For instance, she loved makeup and dresses, even though she hardly wore either very often. She loved watching the sunset, the sunrise, the stars; really, she just loved the sky. She loved the rain, but hated storms; she loved the sun, but hated hot days. She loved Eggos and almost all sugary foods. She loved to re-enact television characters, she had a knack for singing, and she'd only just learnt to tie her shoelaces.

It was their shared love of the setting sun that had tempted them to watch the sky on the roof that afternoon. They sat by side- they'd snuck out the window and climbed a small tree beside the cabin- their hands (accidentally?) touching whilst they watched the sunset.

Another thing she found out up there on the roof: El really wanted to learn to dance. She'd never tried, Max found out when she asked, but she'd heard of it and seen it on TV and she told Max about how Mike had asked her to the snowball and she was going to learn but she never did.

And there it was again. _Mike_. That name. Who was he? Max hated the way that name seemed to sit in the back of her mind and in the back of her throat, waiting to be said out loud. She didn't want to know who he was, yet at the same time she did. Who was he? This boy who'd stolen El's first kiss and, it seemed, her heart as well. Max knew she'd said she wasn't sure she liked him as more than a friend, but there was still that _maybe_ , hanging in the air. Max didn't understand why she felt a dislike for the boy she hadn't met, or why she was even thinking about whether or not there was something between the two, why should she care?

It took a few moments of silence to realise El had said something and she'd completely missed it. She snapped out of her zoned-out state, El's dark eyes watching her intently

"W-what?" she managed to stutter. _Pull it together Max_ , she scolded herself.

"Could you teach me?"

"You- you want _me_ to teach you how to dance?" Max wasn't sure she was the best choice. Sure, she'd learnt enough to be able to accept someone's request to slow-dance at her old school's ball, but it had only just been enough to not completely mess it up, and even then the whole time she'd been more focused on not tripping over than actually dancing.

El nodded enthusiastically. "Yes."

"I don't know, I'm not the best at dancing."

"Oh," El said, looking down at her lap, a disheartened expression on her face.

Max felt El pull her hand out from under hers and she frowned, trying to ignore the disappointed feeling inside her. She frowned to herself. "Are you sure it's safe up here?" Max asked. A pathetic try at changing the conversation. The hand that had previously been touching El's now rubbed her cold arm. Even through the jacket she was wearing the wind pricked at her skin obnoxiously.

El only shrugged in answer and Max rolled her eyes, despite the smile pulling at her mouth. "Well, I suppose if we _do_ fall through we can just pull ourselves up before we hit the ground, huh?" she joked, licking her lips which, she was sure, would be chapped come tomorrow. Damn the Autumn wind.

"We won't fall."

She snorted. "That's pretty optimistic of you."

"Op- optimistic?"

"Just means you look on the bright side of things."

"Bright side?"

"You know, the positive side. You think things will turn out good."

"Not optimistic," El said.

"No?"

El shook her head. "No. Lots of bad things happen."

Max frowned. "Like what?"

"Upside down," she didn't understand what it meant but the emotional whisper sent shivers up her back and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up on end.

"Wha- what does that mean? El?" She watched as the other girl's face paled considerably. She clenched her fists until her knuckles were white, her lips pursed, nothing but a small line of pink. "El," she tried again. It was like she was frozen, like she couldn't speak or move. Max felt a painful tug in her chest. "El," she tried once more, this time shaking her shoulder lightly. It was like a signal had gone off. Eleven raised her head but didn't look at Max, and Max didn't understand why that hurt like it did.

"El, look at me... please," she finally turned her head and when her eyes met Max's she almost wished she hadn't. The look in her brown eyes made Max almost feel sick; that look that held so many emotions, worry, fear, bewilderment, unease. "Hey, we don't have to talk about... whatever it is, okay?"

"Promise?" El said, like she was unsure. Like she thought Max was going to try and drag it out of her; like she was scared. It made Max feel terrible and she decided right then and there she never wanted that look directed at her again.

She nodded in agreement. "Promise. Remember, last night? You let me have that to myself. And if this is something that you want to keep to yourself, or something you don't want to talk about, I understand. Maybe one day it'll be something you want to tell me. If you ever do, that's cool and if not, that's cool too."

El still looked unsure, and then a thought came to Max's head. It was stupid, considering that they were on a roof, and the fact that minutes ago she'd refused. Before she could stop herself she was standing up and dragging El by the hand, the poor girl probably more confused than Max was herself.

"What are we doing?"

"You want me to teach you to dance, right?"

"Yeah...but-"

"Well come on, I can't dance by myself now can I?"

"We're on the roof," El said, looking at Max like she'd grown an extra head.

"We'll just have to be careful, then," Max said.

"There- there's no music."

"Are we doing this, or not," Max said teasingly.

El looked flustered and Max couldn't help but smirk. "But-"

Before she could voice another (probably perfectly reasonable) reason not to she'd pulled El close by the arm so that they were nearly touching. "First rule of slow dancing, know where to put your hands. If you're dancing with a boy, he'll put his hands here," she placed her hands on Eleven's waist gently, it was a hold loose enough that she could escape easily if she wanted to. She didn't try. Instead she moved closer, her hands hanging by her side awkwardly. Max chuckled and let one hand slip off her hip down to her arm.

"Then you wrap your arms around his neck," she grasped El's warm hand in hers and guided it to her shoulder, and El did the same with the other arm herself and clasped her fingers together behind Max's head.

"L-like that?" she almost whispered.

"Yeah, that's good," Max nodded. "Next is positioning your feet. It helps if you take notice of where you and your partner's feet are before you move, so you know how far forwards and backwards you should step." She watched as El looked down at their feet and nodded. Max moved her feet a little so they weren't too close or too far from El's.

"Now what?"

"Then you move," Max said, beginning to sway. She lead the dance and El followed surprisingly well. It took a while for them to find a good rhythm, and El stepped on Max's toes more than a few times, but after a few minutes they were moving together harmoniously. It was funny, dancing had never felt this natural any other time, but with El it felt surprisingly familiar. She wasn't worried about messing up or getting the moves perfect. All she was focused on was El; how she moved to the inaudible beat, how she shyly apologized when one of her feet slipped she stepped on Max's toes, how her smile seemed to glow when she perfected even the simplest of moves. How beautiful she looked-

"You can also put your head on their chest or their shoulder if you want to. It really just depends on height and where you feel more comfortable," she said, interrupting her own ridiculous train of thought.

"Could...could I try?"

Max hated the way her breath caught in her throat. "Y-yeah, if you want to. It might be a bit uncomfortable, seeing as you're a bit taller than me," she laughed. Slowly- cautiously, El placed her head on Max's shoulder, still moving. At first she was stiff and rigid, but she soon relaxed against the shorter girl. Max could feel Eleven's breath and hair against her neck and hoped she didn't notice the goose-bumps that were forming on her skin.

"Do you want to try a spin?" Max asked when they eventually stopped for a few moments.

El seemed unsure. "A- a spin?"

Max nodded, "yeah. It's not that hard. You just..." she guided their connected hands up into the air between their bodies and spun herself around slowly until she was facing El again. "It's pretty simple. Do you want to try?" El nodded and Max grinned. This time it was Max guiding her, holding her hand whilst she spun around carefully. When she was back to her starting position they continued dancing. This time it was a little faster and they were both more sure of themselves.

"You're pretty good at this," Max said as El lead her into a quick turn.

"I like dancing," El nodded with a smile.

"So, a snow ball, huh?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

"Yes."

"Sounds like it'd be fun." That was a lie. Max generally hated school dances, but she could tell El had really wanted to go. 

"I wish I'd gone."

"Why didn't you?" She felt El tense under her hands and instantly regretted prying. "El... does it have to do with the thing you don't want to tell me?"

She gave her usual nod, "I- I couldn't. Bad things happened."

Max felt a shiver run up her spine. "Bad things?"

" _Demogorgon_." It was silent for too long. The other girl became particularly interested in her shoes. Max felt goose-bumps rise on her skin as she thought about what that meant. She'd heard that name before. She knew it was from a game- Dungeons and Dragons?- but that didn't make sense. She took in the trembling girl and knew she wasn't lying, but what did it mean? Maybe it was an expression for something else, she wasn't sure. So many thoughts went through her head as she looked at the girl in her hands.

"Hey, look at me," she slowed down until they were both hardly swaying and moved her hand from her waist to her shoulder. El looked up at her and Max felt terrible seeing the sadness in her eyes. "You don't have to talk about it, remember? I won't push you. Okay?"

"Okay," she agreed.

They continued dancing, the air between them different. It only changed back to that comfortable atmosphere they'd developed between them when Max went to twirl and nearly ended up falling fully onto her back. El's grip on her hand stopped that from happening but they both stumbled to their knees, Max squished onto her back anyway by El's frame. She laughed and turned her head to the quickly fading sunset, then back to El's face. She didn't know whether it was her mind playing tricks on her or if she'd moved closer but her face was barely inches away from her own.

Maybe that was why she felt the urge to lean forward and close the gap between their lips. Maybe that was why she wanted to hold the back of her neck and pull her forwards and okay, where did those thoughts come from? Because Max knew she shouldn't feel like this about El- another _girl_. Sure, she'd thought about it before, she'd had small I-wonder-what-it-would-be-like-to-kiss-her moments with other girls, but this was different. This wasn't 'what would it be like,' this was 'I want to.' And that was different, _completely_ different. This was new territory and she didn't have so much as a map to guide her.

It was only when El reached out to tuck a strand of red hair that was blowing into her eyes behind her cold ear and the only thought before she leaned forward and connected their lips was fuck it. It was only for a few seconds at most but it left a buzzing in her brain and an almost painful feeling in her chest. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She pulled back to see El looking at her closely, eyebrows pulled together in confusion. _Crap_. The weight fell back onto her crushingly and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Every second waiting for her to say something felt like a year.

She was about to apologize for single-handedly ruining one of the only friendships she'd ever known- she knew it would be something unintelligible, along the jumbled lines of _oh crap oh crap, I'm sorry I didn't know what I was doing, why did I do that, I'm so sorry_ \- but the words never left her mouth, because the next thing she knew a warm pair of lips were on hers and she was lost in that feeling again. And this time it was really kissing. The kind that made you worry that your heart was going to burst in your chest and your head all foggy. It was Max who pulled back first, breathless and panting and smiling.

"Do you maybe wanna continue this somewhere safe like, I don't know, the ground?" El had an expectant look on her face and Max shook her head, smiling. "I meant the dancing." They both laughed and El nodded, a few curls falling in her eyes. Max was almost surprised they both made it down the tree without any injuries and tried her best to ignore the insistent speed-up of her pulse when Eleven grabbed her hand to and led her to the porch.

That was where they spent the rest of the afternoon, until ten minutes before six o'clock when Hopper was due to be home. Later that night they danced again, this time to a song on El's radio and she smiled when she heard Sting's voice coming through the speakers.

 _Every breath you take and every move you make_  
_Every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you_

"I like this song," Max said halfway through another twirl.

"Me too," El smiled, her hand leaving Max's shoulder for a second to brush a curl out of her vision.

"Maybe it could be our song," she joked.

"Our song."

"You know, I like the sound of that."

Max kissed her again after that. That night when they went to bed it felt completely different laying next to El, she knew something had shifted between them. It was the most exhilarating and frightening thing she'd ever felt. She wanted more of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this update took forever! There's lots of fluff in this. I guess to make up for future chapters? (Spoiler: that won't last forever) I hope this was an okay chapter, considering it took me more than a week to get right.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I know I have it in the tags but there is homophobia in this story. There is a lot of homophobic words and slurs in this chapter, so if that's something that affects you, you may not want to read. 
> 
> For everyone who waited for this for far too long, I'm sorry! This chapter was a lot harder to finish than I originally thought it would be. I'm a little worried that the characters voices here aren't perfect but I did my best and I think they work alright. It's definitely harder to write Max and Neil since we've hardly seen any of them. As always I hope you enjoy this chapter, and if you did feel free to leave a comment, I love feedback and seeing what you guys think!

It all started to go down hill when Max got home late Sunday afternoon to see Neil's car parked in front of the house. She could hear the usual sound of her step-dad's yelling and her mum's shrill screeches of retaliation and immediately wished she hadn't come back.

Max stood outside the front door for longer than she wanted to admit to herself just clutching the door-handle. She wasn't so sure she wanted to go in. Max had no idea what she'd find. Eventually she took a deep breath in anticipation and turned the cool metal underneath her fingers. She slipped through the door silently.

She felt sick at the sight in front of her: Billy pushed up against the living room drywall. Neil's hand wrapped around his neck menacingly. The bitter smile that stayed pasted on Billy's lips the whole time, even when his face became devoid of almost any colour. The unsympathetic look on her step-dad's face as he pushed him further into the wall, ignoring her mum's cries of protest. All of it.

All three turned their heads to her and the room was suddenly silent except for the sobs of her mother and her quick intakes of breath as she tried to calm her breathing. Max swallowed nervously and looked from Billy to Neil. Their eyes met, and she felt a shiver run up her back at the dangerous glint in his. It was silent for only a few seconds, but she swore each one felt like a year.

"Well, it looks like it's your lucky day, kid," Neil's grip on Billy was gone in an instant. She watched as he slid down the wall and despite everything they'd been through- despite all the terrible things he'd ever said to her, all the things she'd spat at him, everything they'd ever fought about, it didn't matter- in that moment she could see him for what he was: a helpless boy who was only cruel because that was the way he'd been taught to be; who took out his anger and frustration out on other people because he'd learnt from the best, because he was the one his dad took his anger out on.

She watched as Neil stormed over to her, the difference in their height more obvious now than ever. Even from where she stood she could smell the alcohol on his breath, and she scrunched up her nose at the strong scent that had quickly become familiar living with him. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Out," she muttered.

"Where?"

"Just at a friend's house."

"And you didn't think to tell Billy where you were going? You have no idea how worried we were when we got home yesterday and you were gone."

"Probably the same way it felt when you didn't call at all whilst you were gone, not even to tell us that you'd be more than two days late home."

"What did you say?" He took another step forward; she took one back.

"Neil..." she looked up at her mum as the words left her mouth and thought maybe, just maybe for once she would interfere. Neil quickly cut her off with a motion of his hand and Max watched as she pursed her lips and hung her head. She scoffed and shook her head. _Of course_.

" _Who_ were you with?" he took another step forward and laid a menacing hand on her shoulder.

"I already told you. A _friend_."

"And this friend, do they have a name?" he said mockingly, a blank look on his face.

"El. Her name's El."

"Where did you meet her?"

"At the arcade."

"Okay. So you were with El. A _friend_. How nice." Max felt her stomach drop at the accusing tone of his voice and wondered if he suspected more. Her blood felt like ice in her veins at the thought of him knowing anything. That was impossible, right? The anxious part of her mind was quick to supply her with _yeah, but that doesn't stop him from suspecting._

"You know what's funny is Billy told me that you were gone for days. Now, I'm just thinking out loud here, but it seems you've become very attached to this El, considering we've been here less than a week. Attached enough to risk our safety?"

"I was careful." She wondered if it was possible for her heart to beat so loud he could hear it from where he was standing. She knew he was mad, pissed off that she could've fucked everything up, but she knew that wasn't all it was, there was more.  _Fuck_ , she should have come home earlier. Maybe she shouldn't have stayed at all- or maybe she just should have kept her mouth shut and not argued with Billy- maybe he would have been nice for once in his life and kept quiet, considering the fact that he knew how preoccupied Neil could be (was) with who he chose to befriend. After all, one of the reasons she'd never had many female friends was because of the fact that Neil was well and truly an extremely homophobic person-she'd seen it before, any time Billy had male friends over, or asked to hang out with them- and honestly, in Max's opinion, Neil bordered on obsessive when it came to the gender he chose to spend most of his time with.

Max had always been worried she'd receive the same treatment if she had of, and the turn the conversation only fuelled her worry. "Yeah, I guess we just have a lot in common," she shrugged, trying her best to sound care-free.

"Better be all it is." The words were muttered almost too quietly for her to hear, and instead of that same spark of worry she felt something different ignite in her chest. Anger. She felt her stomach swirl sickeningly, and she nearly had to bite her tongue to keep from saying anything she'd learn to regret.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He scoffed. "The fuck do you think it means? I swear," he paused as he fished for the small box of cigarettes awkwardly stuck in the pocket of his jeans. "The amount of dykes and faggots I see on the streets, it gets worse every day. I'll be damned if I let one stay in my house, under _my_ roof."

"Neil, honey-"

"I'm not a _dyke_ ," she interrupted. The word felt wrong in her mouth. Dirty. Wrong. Every time she'd heard it before had been from Neil's mouth, thrown out as a cheap insult. "And I don't see why it would be that bad, anyway," the words were out before she could stop herself. Before she even had a chance to contemplate what Neil's reaction would be he was right in front of her.

"What did you say?"

"I- I didn't-" she cut herself off when she couldn't find the right words.

"What the hell did you just say?"

"I- I just- I just mean why is- why is being like... like _that_ such a bad thing?" The image of her and El holding hands came to mind; an image of them dancing, laughing. _Kissing_. But the way he grabbed her made Max think of how he'd view them if he ever found out; how he'd laugh and sneer and use those same words against her. How he'd drag her home by the wrist with a grip hard enough to leave purple bruises. How he'd make sure to punish her so that she wouldn't be able to move without pain for a week, at the very least a few days.

"Because being like _that_ ," he mocked, kneeling down in front of her so they were eye to eye, "is fucking disgusting."

"But why? I don't-"

"It's sickening," he hissed through clenched teeth. " _That's_ why. It's sickening the way they think it's okay to walk around in public, holding hands like the fucking fags they are. There doesn't need to be any other reason. I don't want to see a bunch of flaming homos walking around like they own the damn place- like there's nothing wrong with what they're doing. They're nothing but filth."

Max hadn't realised she'd opened her mouth again to argue until she looked up and noticed Neil's burning glare, and she closed her lips as quickly as they'd opened. She swallowed the words that were on the tip of her tongue and felt the tip of her fingernail dig into her clenched fist that she hid between her back. She knew he thought that something was going on, and whether or not he had proof, it didn't matter, she'd have to deal with his rage either way.

"What, nothing to say this time, Maxine?" She bit her lip to stop herself from saying anything. "You're seemed pretty fond of them just a minute ago."

"I- I'm not." The stutter in her voice made her hold her breath, and she watched he watched Neil's face as he scrutinised hers.

"So you _don't_ care?" She knew he was trying to make her slip up; to say something that he could use against her. She wasn't going to give him that- knew what she had to do no matter how wrong it felt.

"No," she scoffed, trying her best to sound disgusted. "Of course not. I- I was just curious. I don't care."

"Well, that's a relief," he smiled. She felt her pulse spike at the underlying irony that carried his words. _Bastard_. "Cause for a moment there I thought you were one of them."

"I already told you, I'm not..."

"A _queer_?" She wanted to flinch at the malice behind the word.

"I'm not a queer."

The room was quiet for too long, the tension almost unbearable. He knelt down in front of her until they were eye to eye. "Then there's nothing for me to worry about." His hands gripped her shoulders in a way that was threatening and on the verge of painful; a warning, "I don't want you going out again, unless Billy knows where you are, and who you're with. Understand?" She nodded, and silence was met with the sound of his fist slamming the wall against her head. " _Understand?"_

"Yes."

"Good. Now we're all on the same page," then he was gone, and less than ten seconds later she was on her own. Max knew it was pathetic to cry. It didn't stop her. She didn't understand why what he had said hurt so bad. She'd been bullied countless times, by kids and Neil alike, but this had cut the deepest. It wasn't those same breathless sobs this time, and it wasn't nearly as painful, emotionally or physically, but she thought this kind was worse. She didn't feel sad, but she wasn't happy either. It was the type of crying where you didn't feel much of anything. She didn't know how to describe it. It was almost like a numb feeling. Like her body and mind were frozen simultaneously. She'd changed her mind. It was so much worse.

She thought she could have stayed like that forever, sat on the floor of the dining room with her knees against her chest. She probably would have if it wasn't for her mum coming in a few minutes later.

"Oh, sweetheart," she knelt down and reached out to touch her shoulder. Max moved out of her grasp and she pulled her hand back.

"Where's Neil?" she asked sceptically, wiping her eyes absently and wrapping her arms tighter around her legs.

"He's gone. He... he went down to the bar- he'll be back later. Oh Maxxie-" she reached out again, slower this time, probably noticing the sceptical look on Max's face- that was what did it. As much as she hated the nickname, it made her heart break. She hadn't seen this side of her mother in years. Not since she'd been with Neil. Her hand rubbed up and down Max's shoulder soothingly. It reminded her of how she used to be- how close they were before. "You know he doesn't mean to be so harsh, he just worries about you. We have to be careful here, _you_ need to be careful."

"If we need to be so careful, why come back in the first place?" Max asked bitterly. She watched her mother purse her lips tightly and knew she wasn't going to get an answer.

Fifteen minutes later she found herself in the bathtub with her mum sat on the edge, washing her hair whilst she hugged her cold knees; a position she'd grown accustomed to during the past few hours. The water was scolding hot and the slight pain of the heat against her skin was a welcome distraction from other thoughts. If she had felt like a child before, this was a different level completely- she definitely didn't feel like a thirteen-year old whilst her mum washed shampoo out of her hair, or ran a wash-cloth over her back, or lead her to her room after she'd wrapped a towel around her pale shoulders.

Max desperately wanted to call El that night, but she knew that she was only supposed to call when she knew Hopper wouldn't be home. Still, the urge to talk to her, especially after what had happened between them was impossibly strong. The memory was still fresh in her mind. It felt like every time she recalled it she relived it. The thought that it could be wrong- that something that had felt that right could be looked down upon made Max feel sick to her stomach.

With El she hadn't thought about how other people would view their relationship. She came along and Max fucking hated her for a minute, just for the fact that she made it feel so right. She'd spent so long trying to convince herself that she liked boys, that she wasn't attracted to girls, that it would pass. But then she met El and it was just the two of them in her room and she'd forgotten about everything else but them. She hated her for making Max want to hold her hand and kiss her cheek and stupid things like that. Stupid things she should want to do with _guys_.

She hated El for making her forget that people like Neil even existed; people who would spew hatred at them or say that they were _wrong_. For making her feel so happy when the reality of it was that even if Max did feel that way about El, no matter how right it felt when it was just the two of them alone, that when they were out together it would be different. It wouldn't feel right, because there would be people all around them screaming about how their relationship was wrong. The idea gnawed at her insides, the thought that total strangers could turn something that felt so good and pure seem so dirty.

At around nine-thirty there was a knock on her door. "Maxxie, there's someone on the phone for you," her mother called through the small gap between the door and her bedroom wall. All of a sudden that familiar feeling of her heart speeding up in her chest was there and she hated El a tiny bit more. She simultaneously wanted to talk to her and to hang up the phone, but then she had the phone up to her freckled ear and she could hear the curly-haired girl's breathing through the line and her decision had already been made for her.

"Max?" The sound of her voice, even after less than a day made Max ache to see her. Fuck, she'd known the girl for barely a week and she was already melting like a snowball in the palm of her hand. Her beautifully pale, warm hands that she loved to- _shit_.

"Yeah- yeah El, it's me. Crap."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just- you shouldn't call me."

It almost felt like her heart sunk in her chest with guilt and she tried her best to ignore it. "I... but- but you gave it to me. To call."

Max sighed. "I know, I know but-" but what? _I forgot whilst I was with you and things didn't seem so bad that my step-dad is a paranoid, homophobic asshole?_ "Look, that was a mistake, I shouldn't have given it to you."

"You can call me though. Right?"

"Uh, I..." she turned to face the window that gave her a perfect view of the drive-way, still empty from where she stood telephone clutched in her hand. "Yeah, I'll try."

"Will you still. Come over?"

"I don't know, El. I- I don't think so."

"Oh," she sighed, and Max didn't think she'd ever heard a single word said with so much sadness behind it.

"It's just there's a lot going on here, and I'm starting school next week and yeah..." she managed a small laugh, but it came out sounding more like a pathetic sigh than anything.

" I just don't think I'll really have the chance, I'll be really busy with chores and homework and all that crap. I'll try though, I promise."

"Max..."

She felt her pulse skip a beat at her name and she hated that she loved how it sounded on El's tongue. "Yeah?"

"A promise is something you can't break. Ever."

Max's heart sank but somehow she managed to say, "I know- and I promise," with a smile on her lips, no matter how fake it felt.


	7. Chapter 7

"You look like shit," Billy muttered as she slid into the passenger seat. She could just make out her reflection in the glass of the windshield and tried not to grimace. Scruffy hair, tired eyes, the ugly, scrunched up red jacket she'd barely managed to pull on in her haste to get out the door. Yeah, she looked like shit, but hey, it was the day before Halloween, so what if she looked like a monster a day early?

"Great observation skills, genius."

In a second he had grabbed her jaw in one hand, lifting her chin and turning her head just enough for them to make eye contact. "You know, if you keep up all the smart ass comments I might just have to cut out that sharp little tongue of yours."

She made a point to not look away, and only shook herself free when he tightened his grip just enough to become slightly painful and pulled her face closer. "Get off of me," she grabbed his arm away and he laughed humourlessly before starting the car up. She rolled her eyes. To anyone else she knew how that would have looked, but she was used to his games, and he knew that. It wasn't normal, but for them, it was as close as it got.  "And try not to kill us this time, would you?" she added, but he was already out on the road, too busy zooming around the corner like a maniac to acknowledge her words. She shook her head and looked out the window, her head rested on her elbow, wishfully hoping school wouldn't be total crap.

In less than five minutes Billy was pulling up outside the high school and shutting off the engine. Max squinted to make out the barely-there reflection of herself in the glass of the window and smoothed her hair with her hands in an attempt to make it sit flat. It didn't help. She sighed in frustration and reached out to open the car door, but before she could Billy's hand encircled her wrist and she turned her head to face him, their eyes locking. She felt her stomach flip nervously and what she knew had only been seconds felt like hours whilst she examined his hard gaze.

"Hello, Earth to wastoid. Are you done being weird? We have school, remember? Or are you trying to get me detention?"  
Max watched as he rolled his eyes and pulled his hand back, only to turn to the back of the car and reach for something she couldn't see. Her eyes widened when he turned back with a glass bottle that was

She recognised the clear liquid instantly. One of the many bottles that took permanent residence in their house. He held it out and her eyes scanned the familiar red label, then his face, where they screwed up, confused. "Where did you get this from?"

He smirked and Max was sure she already knew the answer. "Took it."

"From Neil? Billy, you know how much shit you'll be in if he finds out? If he realises someone took it-"

"Shit Max, would you relax? He's got like a lifetime supply of booze anyway, it's not like he'd notice one missing."

"What if he does?"

"He _won't_."

Billy handed it to her and she frowned. "So why are you giving it to _me_?"

He shrugged, but she could just make out another smirk forming at the corner of his mouth. "Take it as an early birthday present." She snorted unattractively at that. The one time he gave her something, and it was stolen _and_ opened. Classic Billy. "Besides, you seem like you need it more than I do."

He must have caught the worried widening of her eyes because he laughed darkly and nodded. "Yeah, I'm not completely fucking hopeless." He opened the drivers side door and stepped out, but not before crouching to her level, "Try not to get too messed up during school. "

"Shut-up," she heard Billy chuckle before the sound was cut off by the slam of the door behind him, leaving her alone. Max took another look at the bottle and shook her head. She thought about leaving it, but after a moment of hesitation, stuffed it into her bag, then grabbed her skateboard, scrambled out of the car and pushed the door shut with her elbow before skating through the parking lot towards Hawkins Middle School.

School, she discovered, was in fact one hundred and ten percent crap. Not the learning part of it particularly, more the stares and the whispers and gossiping. She tried not to be annoyed- to understand, but it was her third day, and whilst the hushed voices and side glances she got when walking down the halls had died down a lot it still bugged her.

She knew it was a small town. Everyone had practically known each other since kindergarten, maybe longer, and she understood that meant there was a lack of things to talk about, but it wasn't like she was an alien. She didn't have two heads or blue skin or tentacles instead of arms. She was a relatively normal teenage girl- besides the freaky Carrie-like abilities- so why were they all so interested? Sure, there were limited things to gossip about, but was it really that quiet that she was still considered big news? Regardless of what she thought about it, the looks didn't stop, and Max felt like she had "stare at me" painted on her forehead in black marker.

She was so lost in her own thoughts that it didn't register when the bell rang, and it was only when a boy with a head of curls tucked into an awful blue and white cap tapped her on the shoulder and smiled a too-large grin that she realised the lesson was over. She was still at her desk, shoving her things away messily when everyone had gone; everyone except the cap-boy, she discovered after she'd slung her bag over her shoulder and turned around to meet that smile again.

It was a few seconds of awkward eye contact and silence, but it was long enough for Max to feel uncomfortable, almost like she was under a microscope. If anything, this was the least infuriating look she'd gotten all week, but for some unexplained reason this kid with hair too big for his head was what set her off. It was almost painfully ironic, and she would have laughed if she wasn't so on edge.

"Are you okay? Do you need something?"

"No, I- I-"

"Or did you just want a few more seconds to stare at me before your next class? Because I'm sure any other person in this school would _love_ that," and with that she stalked out of the classroom without giving him a chance to reply.

Max stomped away quickly, stopping when she came to a hallway she was sure she hadn't seen before- then pulled out the school map she'd been given that morning to try and find where her Science class was. _Crap_. She'd always been bad at reading maps, and this was no exception. Maybe she shouldn't have walked off so quickly, if she hadn't exploded so quickly she could have asked for directions. _Double crap_. Still, she tried her best to go off the piece of paper, hoping that she'd find the right room.  
The principle, she soon discovered, was quite used to new students getting lost, and less than ten minutes later he was leading her down the hallways expertly, like he'd mapped out every twist and turn and had it down to memory. Then she was being ushered into another overcrowded classroom and once again, every pair of eyes in the room were on her. She immediately went to go sit in the closest seat she found, eager to take at least a little attention off of herself.

"Alright hold up there, you don't get away that easy. Come on up, don't be shy." She fought the urge to roll her eyes and walked back up to stand beside his desk. "Dustin, drum roll," she noticed it was the same boy from before. She wanted to scoff, because _of course_ it was. And of course he'd have a name that was just as dorky as he was.  
She vaguely listened to what the teacher (Mr. Clarke, she recalled from looking over her schedule) said, but for some reason her attention was drawn to the owner of the ridiculous mess of curls, and the small group of boys that sat beside him, giving her odd looks between exchanged whispers.

"...Maxine," she was pulled back to the current situation when she heard that. She was sure her tongue would bleed from how hard she bit it in an attempt to stop herself from saying anything rude. She didn't want to get detention before her first week was even over.

"It's Max."

"Sorry?"

"Nobody calls me Maxine, it's Max."

"Well, all aboard Max." She fought the urge to roll her eyes as she sat down, but soon she found a new urge to resist- staring back at that same group of boys she'd noticed beforehand. She knew there'd be more staring throughout the day but they seemed more interested in her than anyone yet. _Weird_.

It carried on throughout the entire lesson and even during recess, where she thought she'd be free of prying eyes for the most part. Nope. She grit her teeth in annoyance before she came to a stop, picked up her skateboard and headed inside- but not before she reached into her sweater pocket and pulled out the scrunched note she'd written. She'd thought about giving it to them earlier but now seemed as good as any. She almost thought about turning around and marching right over to them to shove it in their faces, but instead, smirked to herself and dropped it into the bin before she walked through the door, not even bothering to look back. If she was right, and Max was sure she was, they'd be all over it in seconds just to see if it had anything about her on it. She shook her head but couldn't stop the smile from growing on her lips. Too bad she wouldn't be able to see the look on their faces.

She wasn't sure if it was the note or just pure coincidence that she didn't see much of the strange group for the rest of the day. She had a few more classes with them, sure, but besides that she barely remembered they existed. It was only after school when Billy dropped her off at the arcade during a particularly loud argument about how he couldn't be bothered picking her up- which she ended by slamming the door and holding her middle finger up as he sped away- and she'd snuck inside to her new personal (though much louder) retreat that she noticed them. It was only two of the four, but she recognised them almost immediately.

Max couldn't help the smile that grew on her lips when she turned her head in their direction and they ducked. She let out a quiet breath of laughter. They probably thought she still had no idea they were here. _Amateurs_. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a few more quarters and grinned. She still had most of the money she'd won the other day from her bet with Keith for the top score tucked away at home, and her pocket was still pretty full. Max smiled to herself as she started a new game of _Centipede_. A few more high scores wouldn't hurt.

Multiple quarters, five new records and two very sore hands later, Max was finally ready to call it a night. She didn't know what time it was, but it must have been getting late considering how quiet the place was, and, as Max realised when she finally looked out the window, how dark the sky had become. Max decided to play one last of _Dig Dug_ before leaving, digging into her pocket for the hundredth time that night and shoving the money into the coin slot. _58 493_. It wasn't her best game of the night, she was sure of that. But she still did well enough to place fifth on the leader board, and something else caught her eye. She scanned down the list again and landed on the name again. _Dustin_. It finally clicked in her head. She looked behind her again, searching for the mess of curls that was a dead giveaway, but there was no sign of either of the boys. She looked back to the top scores, a grin spreading across her face. She'd beaten his high score. Was that why they'd been watching her?

That thought was still occupying her brain as she stepped out the arcade doors- until her eyes strayed from the road to the mess of near bare trees and the ground that was covered with leaves that were all different hues of reds, oranges and yellows. It made her stomach sink and the smile on her face drop. It made her think of deep brown eyes and chocolate curls, of soft, pink lips and pale skin. Of small hands grasped in hers and pretty laughter. It made her feel sick. She hadn't seen the other girl for days and until then she'd tried her best to keep it in the back of her mind, but it all came rushing back.

A thousand thoughts rushed through Max's head. _How was she? Was she okay? Had she missed Max like she missed her? Was she upset? Confused? Angry?_ God, Max had felt all three since the second she'd hung up the phone. She felt guilty, too. Guilty that she'd lied. Guilty that she had told El she'd keep in contact when she knew she wouldn't. Guilty because she knew that the other girl was probably confused.

Until that moment, Max had never understood how anyone could feel sick to their stomach if they weren't actually ill, but she understood now. Her stomach was a jumbled mess, her chest ached in a strange way and she found herself running back inside to the bathroom and locking herself in the closest stall, throwing her bag down out of the way and releasing the contents of her stomach.

Her knees scraped against the cold tiles as she fell onto them awkwardly. One of her hands fumbled to pull her hair out of the way whilst the other clutched hopelessly against the smooth wall beside her. Wave after wave of nausea racked through her, making her shoulders curve forward and her whole body shake each time. Her throat burned and it felt like she'd never leave the cold tiled space, but eventually, thankfully, it subsided and she managed to sit herself up against the wall after the few moments she took to try and compose herself.

Max's breathing was heavy and she could feel herself tremble as she rested her head against the cool wood behind her. She turned her head to rest it against the cool wood, and her eyes fell on the bag she'd thrown to the side in her haste. She could just make out the curve of the glass bottle pushing against the side. Hesitantly, she reached out and pulled it closer by the strap, pulling herself up to sit on top of the closed toilet seat. She traced the edge of it through the material and bit her lip. Max opened it, her hand fishing through the bag until fingers came into contact with the cool glass. She pulled it out thoughtfully.

She'd never drank, not really. A tiny bit here and there when she was offered to taste, but never much. She knew it was a bad idea, what she was thinking. But would it help? Would it help her stop thinking about... she cut her own thoughts off. A little bit couldn't hurt, right? _Just a little_. Max unscrewed the lid and curiously held her nose over it. She regretted it immediately. It was strong, really strong, and horrible.

Max eyed the liquid nervously, but somehow found the courage to press it to her lips and take an experimental sip. It was awful. She barely managed to swallow it without feeling like she needed to throw up again. She coughed forcefully and pulled the bottle away. It burned. It burned her lips, her mouth, and it burned all the way down to her stomach. It was bad, but it left a strange warm feeling in her throat that, surprisingly, wasn't entirely unpleasant. Intrigued, she took another sip, this time longer. It wasn't good, not by a long shot, but it definitely wasn't as bad as the first was.

By the time she downed a fourth (or was it the fifth?) drink, the effects of the alcohol were just starting to kick in. She felt weird. Almost... warmer? It was hard to explain, but it almost felt like the vodka was running through her skin, heating her blood. It was... nice. She didn't know how else to explain it.  
Max quickly lost count of how much she'd drank, and she didn't know how long she'd sat there for. It could have been minutes or hours, but it almost felt like no time had passed at all. The only thing that told her otherwise were the few times she heard the bathroom door being pushed open. Those times, she was just glad that there were enough stalls for nobody to need hers- and no one suspicious enough to knock on the door.

She pressed the bottle to her lips again, but just as she went to take another drink she heard a strange buzzing sound and the room was filled with a static voice announcing that the arcade would be closing in ten minutes.

" _Fuck_ ," her voice echoed in the otherwise silent room. How long had she been in here? It couldn't have been that long. Max pulled the bag closer again and went to take one last drink, but in her hurry she took a larger mouthful then she intended. She felt a few drops fall and run down her chin as she coughed and screwed the top back on. She shoved it back in the bag and stood up quickly- bad idea. It was a lot easier to tell how much the alcohol had actually effected her when she was stumbling and trying not to fall over as she slung the bag back over her shoulder. Max slowly made her way to the sink and looked in the mirror. She winced. She looked terrible. She brushed a hand through her hair in an attempt to tidy herself at least a little, but it was no help. Sighing, Max made her way out of the bathroom and out the arcade doors as fast she could without tripping over her own feet.

The alcohol was a worse decision than she'd thought it would be, she soon discovered as she walked through the darkness, only challenged by the rare streetlight. It only made the ache in her chest worse, made the need she was feeling to just walk the now-familiar path through the trees unbearable. The need to knock on the window and apologise for ignoring El, why she had to. To tell her how hard it had been to stay away, even if it had been less than a week. It felt like it had been so much longer.

Max hated how desperate her thoughts sounded. If someone had told her a month ago that she'd soon meet someone she'd come to care about so strongly in such a short amount of time, she would have laughed in their faces and walked away rolling her eyes. It was almost impossible for anyone to get under her skin. She found it hard to trust most people but El was so innocent and so sweet and easy to trust and Max hadn't even realised that it was happening.

She stopped walking when she reached the place she knew the walked in path was. Though now it was covered with red and yellow leaves and impossible to see- she'd practically memorised where it was in the last couple of weeks. Like the first night, it was almost as if her feet had a mind of their own, pulling her into the dark. It was hard to see but after a few minutes her eyes adjusted to the black and soon she was straying from where she knew the path thinned and ran out and heading in the almost complete opposite direction.

Max didn't know what she was going to do when she got there. El was probably asleep, and if she wasn't what if she didn't want to see her? It would be completely understandable, with the way she'd ignored the other girl completely, but the thought had her stomach twisting again and her feet moving a little faster. By the time she reached the cabin she was almost shaking in anticipation and her hand was already reaching to knock on the glass.

Max wrapped her arms around herself to battle the cool breeze that rustled through the trees as she waited. It felt like hours had passed as she waited for any response, and she was almost ready to turn around and walk away when she heard the sound of the window being lifted. She raised her head and watched as the familiar head of curls popped out, turning towards her, and then she was being studied by those eyes again. Those beautiful chocolate eyes that had plagued her dreams since the first time she had looked into them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's been so long since I last updated this story! Originally, I planned for this to be up the same week as the last chapter, but I've had a lot of personal issues that I've been working on so I'm very sorry for the delay. I hope that this more than makes up for the wait and hopefully the next chapter will be up soon! As always, feel free to leave comments, positive or negative.


	8. Chapter 8

"Max?" she could hear the sadness in the voice, and even with her limited vision she could just make out the confused look on El's face. She hated herself in that moment.

"Yeah, it's me." Max tried to sound mutual but she was sure the other girl could see through her. "It's me, El. I'm sorry I-"

"Did you lie?"

Max's stomach dropped. "El-"

"Have you... have you been av- avoiding me?" If this were any other moment, Max would have been thinking about how much she loved how El stuttered on larger words, but right now she was too busy worrying about how she'd probably just fucked things up with one of the only people she genuinely cared about and how bad it would hurt if El said she didn't want Max in her life anymore.

It was almost laughable, she was more scared of losing her than anyone else in her life, and she'd known her for the shortest amount of time. It was funny how some things worked out.

"I..." she stopped, and for quite possibly the first time in her life, Max Mayfield didn't know what to say. She could lie, but as the thought entered her brain she looked back up at those big brown eyes and realised she couldn't. But would the truth be better, or worse? Max took a deep breath before answering. "Yes, I- yeah... yeah I guess I have been. But it's not because I didn't want to see you-" she tried to protest when El's face dropped. "It wasn't about you, not really."

"Why?"

"Do you," Max licked her chapped lips nervously before continuing. "Do you remember that night, when you... you asked if I had a boyfriend? I said no, and when you asked why I told you I didn't know." El nodded.

"And you said...you said you were..."

"Confused." Max finished for her when the brunette struggled to find a word. "Yeah, I was confused."

"Now?" El asked.

"I still am, but it's not the same way as before. It's like- fuck, this is hard to explain. I'm different. I don't... El, I'm not right. I mean, it feels right, but other people, other people they don't understand and it's so frustrating. It's so hard because I want to be okay with myself but it's not just me I have to deal with- that's hard too but it's knowing that there's so many people who would hate me if they knew. It's knowing that even if I embraced it I'd be hiding because if people at school knew, if Neil knew..." she cut herself off. "I couldn't- no, I can't do it." Max was rambling, she knew she was rambling but she couldn't seem to stop once it all began pouring out. Her voice sounded slightly slurred in her own ears and she almost wished she hadn't drank at all, the only redeeming part was that it brought her here, because she knew that without it she wouldn't have been brave enough to come.

"Max?" the confused look on El's face made her heart race, but it also made her hands clench in frustration and before she could stop herself she was blurting out what had been on her mind for years, but had only been on the tip of her tongue for the past couple of weeks.

"I... I think I'm gay."

" _Gay_? What does. That mean?" Eleven's eyebrows scrunched up and Max realised. Of course, she was confused. She'd been locked away almost her whole life, it made sense she wouldn't know, wouldn't understand. Hell, she probably didn't even know that it was considered wrong. She hadn't grown up being reminded that she was supposed to like boys. She hadn't grown up with those words going in and out her ears from an early age, hearing them from her mum and friends and other people constantly- _are there any boys you like? Do you have a boyfriend? He's cute, don't you think? You two would look so adorable together. You must like someone, come on Max, there has to be at least one guy you think is cute_ \- El hadn't had that.

No, Max thought to herself, El had other things to worry about. Worse things. _Way_ worse. In an instant, she felt terrible. Here she was pushing her problems onto El when she'd already been through more than enough. She didn't want to hear this. Didn't want to hear about Max's problems that were nowhere near as bad as what she'd gone through and here Max was acting like it was the end of the world. Max felt guilt wash over her in waves, felt herself closing up again. El didn't want to hear this. She didn't deserve to have this dumped on her.

"I, uh... it means I think I- I think I like girls."

"Oh," El said, "Is that. Why you- you..."

"Stopped coming over? Yeah."

"Because..."

"Yeah." It went unsaid, but Max knew they were both thinking the same thing. _Because we kissed_. "I guess I got scared and I freaked out, and I know that isn't fair. I'm really sorry. Fuck, I'm an idiot." There was a breathy laugh attached to the end of the sentence and Max shook her head self-deprecatingly.

"You're not."

Max laughed. "You think so?" She smiled and took a step forward to lean over the windowsill, her elbows resting on the dark wood.

El nodded. "I know," she bit her lip. "Do you- do you want to come in?"

"I want to, but I have to get going. And I think it'd probably be best if I didn't. Not because I don't like you, I just..."

"You need. Time?"

She laughed, masking the sad feeling that had been steadily building in her chest the whole conversation. "Something like that."

"Okay." Max shivered when a particularly cold wind swept over her, blowing her hair in her face and leaving goose-bumps after it passed. She felt her heart-rate increase when a smaller, paler hand reached forward to brush the stray strands of ginger out of her eyes and tuck it behind her ear. Max could feel the grin spread over her face instantly. She looked up to find warm brown eyes already watching her shyly, a matching smile gracing her mouth. Max looked down, eyes focused on El's lips, and then back up to her eyes. El was a little slower, and Max felt another smile form on her lips as she watched her eyes dart back up to meet her own. She couldn't be sure, but she swore she saw the faintest hint of red against the pale of her cheeks.

She felt herself leaning in, slowly but surely, not like the first time. Then it had been just her, moving fast because she knew if she didn't she'd back out. This time she was more confident, ready. El moved closer too, and soon they were barely an inch apart. Just as Max was about to close the last of the space between them, the blare of sirens in the distance pulled them apart again, and she turned her head to the sound.

"I wish I could, but I have to go." And with that she was pressing her lips to the other girl's suddenly despite her previous words, her hand coming up to caress her cheek, fingers gently grasping the few tangled curls hanging by the side of her face, then she was pulling away and taking a few steps backwards, not wanting to take her eyes of El yet. _So much for time_.

"But you'll come back?" She could hear the silent message underlying it. _When you're ready._

"As soon as I can."

"Okay," El nodded, and Max watched as she licked her lips and grimaced. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Did you. Eat something weird?"

Max chuckled to herself before turning to walk away, shaking her head and trying her best to hold in the laughter that desperately wanted to escape her mouth. The smile that was planted on her face lasted the whole way home. She wished that it stayed longer. As soon as she was through the door she felt like she'd walked backwards, back to where she'd been before the night had started.

She dreamed about El again that night, as embarrassing as it was, and when she woke up in the middle of the night covered in a sheen of sweat despite the cool Autumn breeze she wished she had taken El up on her offer to come inside, because this was going to take some time to get used to.

School passed quickly the next day. Maybe it was all the hype and conversation about Halloween that took her mind off of learning, or maybe it was the usual and it was because the classes were all so boring that they blurred into each other and made it hard for her not to zone out. The only mildly interesting thing to happen was being asked to tag along and go trick-or-treating with cap-head and stalker boy and their friends, and while she hadn't actually agreed, she thought it over and decided she might as well. It couldn't be that bad, and it wasn't like she had any other offers.

When Max finally got out of her last class of the day, after being held back to get catch-up work, she already knew Billy was going to be an ass about it, and when she reached the car and picked up her skateboard she was proven right

"You're late again."

"Yeah, I had to get catch-up homework," she said to his back, watching as a cloud of smoke from his lit cigarette caught in the wind and blew her way before disappearing, leaving the smell of burned tobacco behind.

"Jesus, I don't care. You're late again and you're skating home, you hear me?" she fought the urge to roll her eyes as she got into the car and waited for him to do the same, slamming the door and revving the engine intentionally loud before he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road. It was a silent drive starting off, besides the sound of the car engine, which became louder each time they sped up.

"God, this place is such a shithole," naturally, Billy was the one who broke it.

"It's not that bad."

"No?" He rolled down the window. Max had to stop herself from holding her nose at the smell. "Mm, you smell that, Max? That's actual shit. Cow shit."

"I don't see any cows."

"Clearly you haven't met the high-school girls," Billy rolled the window back up. "So what, you like it here now?"

"No."

"Then why are you defending it?"

"I'm not." An image of soft curls and dark eyes was the first thing to come to mind, and she wanted to smack herself at the inconvenient timing.

"Sure sounds like it."

"It's just we're stuck here," Billy hummed ironically. "So..."

"You're right, we're stuck here. And whose fault is that?"

Max felt anger build up inside her. " _Yours_." She knew it wasn't true. She knew they all blamed her. Mum, Neil, Billy. She knew that it was her fault, but that didn't stop the word from leaving her mouth in a moment of bitterness.

"What'd you say?"

"Nothing."

"Did you say it's my fault?"

"No," Max hated how her voice trembled. It made her feel weak.

"You know whose fault it is. Say it Max," he taunted. She could feel his eyes on her, almost like they were burning her skin. She grit her teeth and almost failed to stop herself from looking in his direction. She clutched her hands together in her lap, head low. "Say it... _say it_ ," he yelled- screamed, voice so loud it almost felt like it rattled inside her head. She could hear the sound of his foot pushing down harder on the accelerator and feel the humming vibrations of the car underneath her feet as he pushed past the speed limit, and that was then she noticed them. Dressed in their matching costumes, three out of the usual four riding their bikes down the road side by side, oblivious to the approaching vehicle coming up fast behind them.

"Billy, slow down."

"Oh, these your new hick friends?"

"No, I don't know them," she lied, turning her head from them to Billy and back again, she watched as the distance between the Camaro and the boys became frighteningly smaller and smaller.

"I guess you won't care if I hit them then, huh? I get bonus points if I hit 'em all in one go?"

Her blood ran cold at his words and the feeling of the car pushing forward faster again. "No, Billy stop it's not funny," he ignored her, a hard look on his face. She watched as they finally turned their heads and noticed the car zooming way too fast, almost right behind them- watched as they started pedalling faster, eyes wide with panic.

"Billy come on, stop it. It's not funny stop. Billy _stop_ it!" She yelled, watching as he came right up behind them, barely inches away.

Max felt the car swerve to the left before her hands had even touched the steering wheel, felt that same build-up of energy, this time much quicker. Her hands had grabbed the wheel anyway in panic, veering them even further into the wrong lane, barely missing her classmates.

"Yeah, that was a close one, huh?" he whooped crazily, banging his hands on the steering wheel as he finally slowed down, though not by much.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Max breathed angrily.

"Aw come on Max, it was just a little fun. Wasn't that fun?"

"You could have hit them."

"Nah, not as long you were there. I knew you wouldn't let your little friends get hurt."

Max felt her heart stutter in her chest. "What?"

"Come on, you think I didn't notice? You really are a freak, you know that?"

"I didn't- I- you saw me grab the wheel, I didn't do anything," Max said, her jaw clenching. It was only seconds later she felt something above her lip, something warm. She wiped it with a finger and pulled it back to look at what she already knew it was. _Blood_.

She turned her head away from Billy, using her sleeve to wipe away what was left of the blood as best she could, hoping she hadn't missed any. Why had she bled this time? Why hadn't it happened any other times? Was it bad? She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself, pushing down the worry as best as she could, for now. She turned back to Billy. He just smirked and nodded his head, but didn't say anything else. It was the most painful silence she could have ever imagined.

By the time Max was out the front door hours later, dressed in her Michael Myers costume, mask sitting on her head, fake knife and plastic Halloween pumpkin bucket in hand, she still hadn't been able to get what had happened. Max knew she had abilities, sure, but she'd never been able to do anything like that, move anything that large. It was scary, knowing that she was capable of that.

The fight she'd had with Billy came to mind. How she hurt him. How, if she'd been unlucky, it could have been a lot worse. The thought that she was getting stronger- that part of her was getting stronger- was a scary one. Both times it had happened had been accidental, but if it was growing in strength, who knew what could happen. If she didn't learn to control it better... she tried to shake the thought from her head, not wanting to think about it anymore. She'd figure it out when there wasn't candy to collect and kids to scare.

When she finally got to the end of Maple Street, the boys had already gotten more than halfway up the road. Max ran up to catch them, coming to a stop in front of the house they'd just stopped at. She almost went up to meet them, but grinned when a thought came to mind, and hid behind the closest large tree, waiting for them to walk past. Max pulled her mask down over her face and watched as they walked away and towards her, kicking up leaves with every step, completely oblivious until she ran out, wielding her fake knife.

The expressions of fear on their faces and the yells they let out- particularly Lucas', whose shouts were shrill and hilariously more like a young child's than a boy his age.

Max laughed and pulled her mask back off to sit on her head. "Holy shit, you should've seen the look on your faces, and you?" she turned to Lucas. "Who screams like that? You sound like a little girl."

She turned to start walking, only to turn back when she realised they hadn't moved. "Hey, you guys coming or not? Ooh, I hear we should hit up Lock Nora. That's where the rich people live, right?" And then they were beside her, Dustin and Lucas excitedly telling her where the best places to score the most candy were, instantly seeming a lot more like little children than thirteen-year-old boys. She rolled her eyes at their over-the-top eagerness, but smiled secretly, following their lead.

It wasn't long before their bags were half full- or in Max's case, until her basket was practically overflowing, considering how much smaller it was- but by then the streets were much more crowded, a sea of costumes ranging from badly-made sheet ghosts to the go-to vampires and witches and skeletons, to the more expensive looking ones that were either store bought or had been worked on for a probably ridiculous amount of time.

Max watched from her seat on the lawn as the others lined up at a particularly popular house, waiting for the small crowd in front of them to move. If she was honest, she was happy to have a break from the group, even if it was only for a few minutes. Will, Lucas and Dustin had been nice all night but Mike, not so much.

She didn't know why, but he'd clearly taken an obvious dislike to her for some reason. Will made his way over to sit down next to her. Speak of the devil, she thought as Mike followed pursuit less than a minute later. He gave her second-long side glance as he knelt down, before he turned his attention to the smaller boy. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Mike. I just needed a break."

"I can get some stuff for you if you want. Dustin says they usually have a whole bunch of good stuff. Snickers, Hershey Kisses, Skittles- I know they're your favourite."

"I'm okay, really," Will smiled.

Mike nodded, "Alright," he said, turning his gaze to Max for just a second. She smiled, but he just pursed his lips, an annoyed look on his face as he turned and ran back to the other two boys. It was quiet then, besides the excited shouts of children.

"I'm surprised you aren't trying to overflow your bag like the others," she said, turning her head to Will, sat beside her on the grass. It was a lame attempt at breaking the silence between them, but he smiled anyway, which she returned.

In the short amount of time she'd been around him, she'd picked up that he didn't really talk much, not like with Dustin or Lucas, who seemed to blurt out everything that came to mind. She liked that about him, strange as it was. It was intriguing. He always looked like he was thinking, like he always had something to say but didn't want to, unless it was nice. She liked that about him too, that he was nice. Even when he was left alone with a complete stranger who he probably had no interest in knowing, he smiled kindly and tried to small talk, no matter how awkward she could tell he was feeling.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I can't have too much sugar, it makes me feel sick, and I don't like candy that much anyway, so..."

"Right," she nodded, watching as his gaze travelled back to the boys. She followed his eyes, which she was sure were locked onto Mike. That was something else she'd noticed, the way they looked at each other. She didn't know if it was an intentional thing or not, but it was quite obvious that they had the closest bond in the group.

"He's not always like this you know." She must have looked confused because he continued. "Mike, I mean. He's usually not this..." he fumbled for a word.

"Jerkish?"

"He's usually not like this. I've known him since the first day of kindergarten, and he's always been nice to just about everyone but he can be stubborn when he feels like," he cut himself off and looked at her for a second before lowering his head, eyes on his lap like he'd found something interesting.

"Feels like what?"

He looked up at her again, and it almost looked like he was having an argument in his own head over whether or not to tell her. He opened his mouth, but hesitated. "I can't tell you everything, but last year, he... all I can say is that he had someone special, someone he really cared about." Max watched as he pursed his lips in thought. "I don't know if they were... _together_ or what, but he really liked her."

"And? What happened? Where is she now?"

She watched the way his shoulders straightened and his whole body seemed to freeze. "That's not important, you just need to know that they haven't... seen each other for a while, it's been a year almost, and he's still not over it. He still misses her."

"Okay. So, why are you telling me this?" Max asked, confused.

Will sighed, "I just- I just wanted you to know, he isn't always like that. I- I think that he thinks you're replacing her, or something. She was a part of the group, Dustin and Lucas, they really liked her too."

"I'm not trying to replace her-"

"I know. I just meant, just- just give him some time to see that. He'll warm up to you eventually, he's just worried right now, and he probably feels like you're taking her spot. Just give him time, he'll come around," he said, turning back to the boys who were now walking back.

"Hey, hey guys check this out. We hit the jackpot," Dustin said, reaching a hand into his bag to pull something out. "We got all the best stuff, and look, I got more Three Musketeers and- shit," he said as he dropped his bag, at least a quarter of the contents spilling out.

"Son of a bitch." Max couldn't help laughing as he scrambled to collect it all, and she wasn't the only one. "Yeah, yeah, real funny assholes- hey, wait up," he said, running up to catch them when he realised they'd started walking. "You know sometimes I really hate you guys."

"Oh really?" Lucas said.

"Yeah, really."

"Stop talking, both of you," Mike rolled his eyes.

They bickered the rest of the walk up the street, Mike telling them so shut-up every few minutes, even though they ignored him every time. "Where are we going next?" Max asked, stopping the arguing for at least a little while, Dustin too busy looking around, searching the street.

"Uh, I don't know, probably-"

"Where's Will?" Mike interrupted. She turned her head, but he wasn't behind her where she thought he'd been only minutes ago. They were all quiet, and there was an undeniable shift in the atmosphere. Max watched as they shared nervous looks.

"I don't know, he was right behind me just a second ago," she said.

"Crap," Lucas breathed, "we've got to find him."

"Well he couldn't have gone far," Dustin said

Max turned back to where he'd been behind her and searched through the people, her eyes searching through all the people spaced out down the road. She let out a sound of relief when she caught a glimpse of a khaki coloured streak running.

"Hey, hey guys I think I found him," she said. She didn't wait for them to follow behind her as she mad her way through a small group of people and followed. She stopped, running, hands on her knees and watched as he ran down a small set of stairs and disappearing behind a small brick wall. "Down there," Max said, pointing to the set of stairs when the others caught up. Mike ran down first and they all followed, Max at the back.

"Will, what's wrong? I couldn't find you, are you hurt?"

"Holy shit," Dustin cursed as he met Mike at the bottom.

"Is he okay?" Lucas asked. Max looked over at the Will, huddled up with his knees at his chest, his back up against the hard brick. She was sure his body was shaking as small whimpers left his mouth, his face frozen in an expression of fear, eyes glazed over, blank. It was like he wasn't even there. No, she wasn't sure that he _was_ okay.

I don't know," Mike said, panicked. "I'm gonna get you home, okay? I'm gonna get you home. "Hold on," he helped him up shakily, almost falling over.

"Alright take it easy," Dustin said as he reached forward to help.

"I got him, I got him." Mike wrapped his arm around him protectively.

"Mike."

"Keep trick-or-treating. I'm bored anyways." Max watched as his eyes hardened, and he helped Will up the stairs, leaving the three of them behind in the dark.

"What's wrong with him?"

She watched as Lucas and Dustin shared a knowing look, and she knew they weren't going to tell her before they'd even opened their mouths. "It's personal, I get it," she said. "I think I'm going to go now, it's getting late..."

"Right, right," Dustin said with a nod. "Uh, I could-" Lucas shot him a glare that made her smile to herself despite the situation, "or _we_ \- we could walk you home, if you want?"

"Yeah, sure, why wouldn't I want you stalkers to know where I live?" she said before she turned to walk back up. She looked back down when she reached the top to find them still at the bottom, watching her almost nervously. "I was kidding, are you guys coming or not?"

The walk back to her house was almost silent, the weight of what had happened still lingering in the air. There were less people out now, the streets almost empty. Leaves crunched under Max's feet with every step, the frequent gusts of wind pulling more off the nearly bare tree branches.

They'd nearly reached her street, and her eyes inevitably swept over the small opening in the trees the way they always did when she passed. To anyone else, it was nothing, but the familiar sight made Max freeze. Only for a second, but it was enough for Dustin and Lucas to notice, and they stopped next to her, worried expressions on their faces.

"What's wrong?" Dustin asked. She looked into the darkness between the leafless trees and the same longing feeling built in her chest, the same feeling she'd had the night before. Max turned back and, despite the muscles in her cheeks not wanting to cooperate, smiled.

"Nothing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always leave comments and kudos. Next chapter should be up next Friday.


	9. Chapter 9

"Thanks for walking me home, you know you didn't have to do that," Max said when they reached her front door. She turned to face Lucas and Dustin.

"No it's fine, I mean I wanted to-"

"Yeah yeah, me too," Lucas cut in. "We couldn't let you go by yourself."

"Totally, I mean what kind of young men would we be if we just let you walk home alone?"

"Right? We couldn't do that."

Max raised an eyebrow at their antics, but smiled and nodded. " _Okay_... thanks, then. So I'll see you two tomorrow."

"Definitely," Dustin said.

"Yeah, definitely."

"Well... night," Max pursed her lips.

"Night."

"Good-night," Lucas was already pulling the other away before the words had left his mouth, and she watched in amusement as Dustin pushed his shoulder as they retreated, making him stumble, which turned into them taking turns back and forth, and she could just make out the sound of them arguing as they went.

Max smiled and shook her head as she turned to open the door and stepped inside the house. She watched through the window as the two boys walked away, and headed to her bedroom. She sighed in relief as soon as she reached her bedroom door and flung the mask onto her pillow before sitting down on the edge of the mattress. It wasn't that she didn't like them, quite the opposite, actually. It surprised her how much they'd grown on her in the span of one night. Max had actually found herself smiling and having fun the whole time, despite Mike's sour attitude and his constant, irritated glares he threw her way when he thought she wouldn't notice. She knew he didn't like her, that much was obvious, but somehow it hadn't seemed to matter when Dustin and Lucas were there to call him an asshole, tell her to ignore him and drag her off in the opposite direction- she wondered if it would bother her more at school the next day.

Max got dressed and headed for the living room, but checked her mum's room on the way through. She pushed the door open just barely and caught a glimpse of Neil passed out on the bed, empty cans and bottles scattered on the floor, her mother asleep next to him, asleep and curled up on the other side of the bed, as far away from him and as close to the edge as possible. She checked Billy's room too, no sign of him, she wasn't surprised. He'd probably be home in the early hours of the morning, drunk off his head and smelling like cheap beer.

She sat down in front of the television and turned it on. The dark screen came to life and she grabbed the remote, flicking through the channels until she came across _Friday the 13th_ and settled for it, despite the fact that it was almost finished and she'd already watched it quite a few times. She sat there in the otherwise silent house watching the last fifteen minutes unfold. The sound of candy wrappers crinkling as Max dug through the basket with her hand blocked out the voices on the tv, and as she pulled out a particular chocolate bar she couldn't help wondering what the rest of the group were doing right now. She hoped that Will was okay, probably curled up on the couch watching some lame sci-fi movie, most likely with Mike- she couldn't see him agreeing to leave Will until he was sure the other boy was alright. She thought about Dustin and Lucas, who were probably arguing over something stupid like which _Star Wars_ character was the best. Max smiled at that- she could definitely see them doing that- but then it dropped as her thoughts went to El.

What was she doing right now? Was she asleep, tucked in under her covers? Was she still up, reading a book in her room or watching a movie, curled up on the couch? Did she miss Max as much as she missed her? Max knew what she was doing before she'd moved. She didn't take her time heading out the front door. She knew if she did that she'd just end up talking herself out of it, and she knew if she didn't do it know she'd probably end up regretting it.

The wind bit at her exposed skin as she walked down the dimly lit street and she was almost glad to reach the trees, since they blocked out most of the breeze, and most of the light too, unfortunately. When she finally reached the cabin, she almost didn't notice the small figure sitting on the front step, she was so focused on what she was going to say. Eleven sat there silently, a white sheet draped over her small shoulders. She took another step forward and watched as El looked up at the sound of leaves crunching, she looked up and her eyes met Max's.

"Hey," she smiled and held up the Halloween basket. "I brought candy." Knowing her, she thought that would immediately bring a smile to her lips but instead her face stayed blank and emotionless. She sat down next to the other girl and watched as she dropped her head down and stared at the ground. Max knew something was wrong. "Are you okay?" Max asked. " You seem... I don't know, down?"

"Down?"

"It means sad."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So?"

She watched as El bit her lip and after a few seconds faced her again. "Ghost," she said, pulling the costume off her shoulders and holding it out towards Max.

"Did you make this?"

El nodded. A smile replaced the frown on her face, but it only lasted a few moments. "It's good." She smiled, handing it back. As far as costumes went it was as basic as you could get, but El seemed to like it, and Max figured that was the important thing. "I should have left my costume on, I think you would've liked it."

"Trick-or-treat?"

"Yeah. I ended up going with these boys from school. I thought it was weird at first, I mean I've only known them for a few days, but it was actually alright."  
Max noticed the pained expression that look that crossed El's face, even though it was gone faster than it had appeared. "Hey... what's wrong?"

"Trick-or-treat," she repeated.

"What?" Max asked, confused.

"Trick-or-treat. I wanted to..."

"Oh, you mean... you didn't go?" El nodded. "But why, if you wanted to so badly?"

"Hopper..." Max frowned.

"Does... does it have to do with..." El held out her arm, the small tattoo catching Max's eye immediately. She'd seen it before, once, that night when they'd first met... but seeing it now was almost like seeing it for the first time again, she'd almost forgotten that she had it. "Yeah, that..."

" _Yes_ ," El nodded. "I can't leave. The bad men-"

"Bad men?"

El nodded again, "the bad men could find me."

She went to ask about it, but hesitated. The few times she'd mentioned or asked about it, El had froze up, she didn't want to scare her, to make her remember things that clearly pained her. "El," her dark eyes met Max's ocean-blue ones. "Can- can I ask about..." she watched the frightened look on her face, and regretted asking immediately, but El surprised her by nodding slowly.

"Who are the bad men?" Like the other few times, she noticed El's body go unnaturally stiff and again she wished she hadn't said anything, but this time she seemed less anxious somehow. She turned to face Max and she felt her heart jump in her chest.

"Papa."

" _Papa?_ '"

She nodded again. "Who is papa?"

"The bad men."

"Was... did- did he hurt you?" El's eyes caught hers and the emotion held in them made her heart break. She didn't answer, but Max could tell just from her face.  
"El... was he- was he one of them? Of the bad men?"

"Yes." Her voice was hardly a whisper that Max was hardly able to pick up. "Papa is bad." It was subtle but she noticed El had started to shake slightly. It reminded her of that day on the roof, and Max knew not to ask anything else.

"Hey- hey look at me, El..." they locked eyes again and Max could just see the beginning of tears forming in the corner of her eyes. She brought an arm up and wrapped it around her shoulders. The pale girl leaned into her right away, head resting against her cheek, and Max wound the other around her stomach and rested it on her hip. "I'm sorry, we don't have to talk about it anymore, okay?"

"Promise?" she whispered into Max's shirt. She smiled, despite the circumstances.

"I promise. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you.” She didn't know how long they sat there for. Long enough for El's breathing to calm down and her body to stop shaking. They were still in the exact same position, and her fingers had absentmindedly begun tracing invisible patterns over the fabric of El's shirt, the hand on her shoulder was doing the same, running over the skin where her shoulder and neck joined.

Eventually, El raised her head and managed a weak smile. "You are like Mike."

"Mike?"

"Yes. Mike was my friend. He looked after me. You are the same."

"You and Mike were close," Eleven nodded. The memory of El telling her Mike had been her first kiss and for some unexplainable reason she felt her stomach drop, but she smiled regardless.

"Mike..." Max repeated. She wondered if she'd ever meet him... not that she wanted to be friends with him or anything, but she wanted to know what he was like, at least. If El liked him, he must have been a somewhat decent person. And then it clicked. Mike. _Mike_. Mike from school. Was it him? Max thought about what Will had told her. How much he'd liked that girl, the girl he hadn't seen in almost a year. Was she El?

"Hey El? How long has it been since you saw Mike?"

"Day three hundred and fifty three."

"You count the days?"

El nodded and fuck, why did that bother her so much? "Did uh... did you know his friends?" _Smooth Max_. She just nodded her head again. "What were there names?"

She hesitated, but answered. "Dustin and Lucas and..."

"And?" in her head, she was already going over the name.

"And Will."

"Where they nice?" she asked, trying not to let her face fall. Of course it was the same Mike. She should have realised sooner, if she was honest. How many boys their age could there be named Mike in such a small town?

"Yes. Friends."

"That's good. Do you miss them?"

"A lot."

They sat there for a few more minutes, the only sound was their breathing. The silence between them was oddly comfortable. They didn't move until Max felt El shiver, and noticed the goose-bumps showing on her pale arms. "You should head inside, it's getting late." El agreed with another nod of her head and then Max was leading her by the hand to the open window. She climbed through and then turned to watch Max expectantly. "I should probably get going, I've got school tomorrow and I've gotta be up early, so..."

"Stay. Just for. A little while." Max bit her lip and looked back, through the dark trees that would take her home, and then back to El. She gave in.

"Okay, but not long," she laughed as El grabbed her hand and pulled her forward happily.

Five minutes later and they were seated on the end of El's bed, the blanket thrown around their shoulders and Max's candy bucket between them . they were watching a particularly boring episode of some soap opera El had somehow convinced her to watch. "You really like this?" she asked and El nodded surely. She rolled her eyes but in all honesty Max didn't really care. It didn't seem to matter what they watched, as long as El was there to make her smile throughout the whole thing, she could deal with it.

Max watched as El rummaged through the orange container, picking out three of the same coloured wrappers. They were one of her favourites, but she didn't mind El taking them. That almost made her laugh. Had she gone soft? If it was anyone else, she probably would have snatched them back, but the cute smile on El's face as she unwrapped each individual one and popped them into her mouth was quite possibly the cutest thing she'd ever witnessed, and she really couldn't be mad with her when she was so god-damned adorable. She was definitely _not_ soft, she lied to herself as El snuggled into her shoulder again. _Not soft_.

It didn't take long for El to fall asleep against her. Max only noticed when she heard what sounded like soft, almost silent snores coming from the other girl. "El?" she whispered, she didn't want to wake her up if she was. "El?" she tried again. No response. Gently, she stood up- one hand behind El's head, one behind her back- and laid her down so her head was resting on the pillows. Max spread the blanket over her body. Looking at the sleeping body, she wished she could have stayed, just fell asleep next to her right there, but instead she snuck back out the window. She took one last glance back through the glass and it was almost like taking a mental picture of the moment, one that would be added to her photo album of fond memories, and made her through the darkness that would lead her home.

"Hey, you ready for this?" she asked as she leaned against the wall next to Dustin. His bag shook again as she spoke, almost like Dart had heard her.

"Yeah, definitely." Good, she thought, because Max wasn't sure if she was. The thought of seeing the creature... _D'Artagnan_ (or Dart for short, as Dustin had told them) again, his grotesque yellowy-green skin, the pink fleshy texture of his sides, his slimy, slippery body, made her shudder. There was something about him that made Max feel undeniably uncomfortable.

"Well? Let's do this," Lucas said.

"Hey wait, where are Mike and Will?" She asked Dustin.

"Shit I don't know, they should have been here by now."

"Can't we just go without them?" Lucas asked.

"What? No-"

"Come on, it's not like they'll care-"

"Guys," Max interrupted.

Dustin sighed. "Fine, let's go."

"Finally," it was Lucas who pushed the classroom door open immediately and rushed in, they followed. Mr. Clarke looked up from the sound of the door slamming shut behind them and for a second Max thought that he would be angry for them rushing in, but he just smiled.

"Dustin, Lucas. Max," he said. "What can I do for you today?"

The three of them shared an unsure look. Dustin broke it and pulled his backpack from his shoulder. "Actually sir, we have something that we want to show you."

"Great, what is it?"

"Well, actually it's something that _I_ found- I thought you'd appreciate it-"

"Dustin," Lucas said, "Get to the point."

He rolled his eyes, but complied and pulled out the trap. " _This_ is the reason I was late for class." He placed it on the desk.

Mr. Clarke studied it appreciatively. "Pretty neat. These doors function?"

"Well yeah, obviously but it's not about the trap, it's what's inside. Now this very well may chance your perception of the world."

"Consider my interest piqued," Mr. Clarke smiled.

"Alright. first, let's just clarify that it's _my_ discovery, not yours."

"Dustin, Jesus, just show him," Lucas snapped.

"Alright, I'm just trying to clarify-"

"Dustin," Max interrupted.

"Okay, fine."

Dustin went to open it, but was interrupted by the slam of the classroom door. Mike rushed in, breathing hard, Will right behind him. " _Stop_ ," he shouted as he ran over to grab the trap "I'm really sorry Mr. Clarke. It was just a stupid prank. I told him to stop."

"What the hell are you doing?" Dustin asked as Mike ran for the door.

"We need to go right now," he yelled. "Right now!" Lucas, Dustin and Will followed after him and Max close behind. She didn't want to be left out of whatever was going on. Because there was definitely something going on. They ran until they reached the AV room and piled in, Max last.

"Mike, what the hell is going on?" Dustin asked.

"Shut-up, just listen it's important. It's about-." Mike stopped himself and turned to her. "She can't be here."

"What?"

"What? Dustin echoed her question.

Mike walked towards her and she backed away. "You can't be in here. It doesn't involve you."

"I hate to break it to you, but aren't I kinda, you know, already involved?"

"Just get _out_ ," he urged, pushing her out the door.

"Hey," she yelled as he slammed the door closed. The sound of the lock clicking shut followed a second after. "Are you serious? You're just gonna lock me out?" She got no answer. "Real nice." She groaned in annoyance and banged on the door with her first. "Hello? Hello? Guys, come on. Can I come in yet?"

"No," one of them yelled, and by the sound of their voice she could only guess that it was Mike. She rolled her eyes. Max waited a few minutes before becoming impatient and pressing her ear up against the door to try and listen in. It was no use. She could hear a few words here and there, just bits and pieces that didn't tell her anything. She groaned in frustration and sat down on her skateboard.

Another five minutes passed. She pounded her fist against the door again. "Guys, what's going on? Come on." No answer. That's when Max's eyes fell on her bag, and an idea came to mind... maybe. She reached for the backpack and unzipped it, and found what she was looking for instantly. She grabbed the paperclip attached to one of her books, bent it, and inserted it into the bottom of the lock. She had no idea what she was doing, not really, but she tried anyway, twisting and turning it, careful not to break the clip. She was almost about to give up on it when she heard the telling clicking sound of the lock and smiled. _Yes_. She pulled the door open and her eyes widened as the green body of... something ran past her and out the door. It resembled Dart, but it was a different colour, it's whole body was a dark green shade, and it was larger, too large to be him. It couldn't be... _could it?_

"Oh shit." Mike cursed. Dustin went to run after Dart but fell into Max and sent them both to the ground. She felt another pair of feet trip over her legs and Lucas toppled over too. They all fought to get up, knocking into each other in the process.

"Where'd he go?" Lucas asked.

"What was that?" Max clambered to her feet.

"Dart," Mike said.

" _What?"_ She'd thought so at first but it was impossible. How could he have grown so much in less than a day? It wasn't possible.

"You let him escape."

"Why did you attack him?" Dustin yelled.

"Come on," Mike pushed past him and ran after Dart.

"Don't hurt him. Don't you hurt him!"

"Dustin," Max put her hand on his shoulder. "Come on, we'll find him."

She could see the all the different emotions lurking beneath his surface. Anger, fear, sadness. She wouldn't have been surprised if he yelled at he, but eventually his face relaxed, his shoulders sagged and he nodded. "Yeah, yeah. Okay," he allowed her to drag him down the hall.

Finding Dart turned out to be easier said than done. Max and Dustin had stuck together to search the hallways and classrooms, but they'd split up nearly half an hour ago and if any of the boys had found him, she had no clue whatsoever. That was the sucky part of being the only one without a walkie-talkie, she had no way to communicate with the others unless they ran into each other. Hell, they could have found Dart twenty minutes ago and gone home and she wouldn't have even known, and if they hadn't, well they had to be getting close, either that or he'd managed to escape the school somehow. There were only so many places he could be. They must have checked all the classrooms and hallways by now, and Max had looked in the girls (and boys) bathroom, the library, and the cafeteria. Sighing in frustration, Max headed to the gymnasium. She pushed the heavy doors open and they slammed close behind her loudly. For such a small school, it was actually pretty large. She searched the every inch of the gym and the girls locker room, but had no luck, and decided to check the boys room as well.

Max was so caught up in looking for Dart that she didn't hear the door open again, and it wasn't until she heard a shout behind her that made her heartbeat spike that she realised she wasn't alone. She spun around, eyes wide in fear, only to come face to face with Mike and the end of  a broomstick pointed at her. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What are _you_ doing?" he questioned. "Why are you in here?"

"Looking for Dart, what do you think?"

"This is the boys room."

"Yeah, so?" she scowled.

"So you should go _home_ ," he dropped the mop, the sound of it clattering filled her ears even as she followed him out of the locker room.

"Why do you hate me so much?"

"I don't hate you," he argued. "How could I hate you? I don't even know you."

"Yeah but you don't want me in your party.

"Correct."

"Why not?"

"Because you're _annoying_ ," he almost yelled, turning to face her. "Also, we don't need another party member. I'm our paladin, Will's our cleric, Dustin's our bard, Lucas is our ranger and El is our mage."

"El..." Max was sure her mouth hung open for a second before she had was able to hide the shock she felt at hearing her name. "Who's El?"

"Someone. No one."

"Is she the girl you used to be friends with?"

Now it was Mike's turn to be shocked, and she watched as he tried to hide it and collect himself. "How do you know about that?"

"Will told me."

"What- what'd he tell you? What did he say?" he sounded panicked.

"Whoa, calm down."

"What did he say to you?"

"Why are you freaking out?"

"I'm _not_ ," she could tell he was lying.

"Don't worry. He didn't tell me much, barely anything, really. He just said that she moved and that you all missed her a lot. Especially you..." she trailed off.

"Yeah, well he shouldn't have told you anything."

"Why not," Max asked.

"Because it's none of your business," he said angrily, walking off.

"But she was in your party?" He ignored her question and kept walking. Max dropped her board and skated around him, stopping in his path.

She watched the annoyed expression form on his face but he reluctantly responded. "Yes, okay? She was in our party a long time ago and she moved away, happy?"

"And she was a mage? Well what could she do? Like, magic tricks or something?" Max wondered if Mike or any of the other boys knew about El's telepathy. She wanted to believe it was just a coincidence that she was there Mage, but if it was, that was one hell of a coincidence. She could tell he was getting annoyed talking about it. "Well, I could be your zoomer," she joked, trying to lighten the mood. _Zoomer?_

"That's not even a real thing."

"It could be." She skated around him, hands in the air. "See? Zoomer."

"Mind-blowing," he muttered sarcastically.

"Come on, you _know_ you're impressed."

"I don't see any tricks, you're just going around in a circle."

"If it's so easy you try it."

"No."

"Why not?" she challenged, smiling victoriously.

"I don't know how."

"So then you admit it's kind of impressive?"

"I think if I spent like all day practicing, I could do that."

"I would give you a million bucks if you could," she grinned.

"Okay, you're making me dizzy. Please just stop."

She ignored him and circled around a few more times. "I'll stop when I join your party," Max promised.

"Come on, just stop."

"It's a simple question. Am I in or not?" She smiled as she looped around him again, and he actually cracked a small smile, which was something, considering how much he seemed to dislike her. Max didn't have long to admire her triumph though, because that was when she looked up, and her eyes met the face looking back at her through the glass. Max felt like all the blood in her body had froze as those familiar eyes ran over her body. The next thing she knew, she was falling backwards- the board slipping out from under her feet- and onto her back. She groaned in discomfort.

"Jesus, are you all right?" Mike knelt down beside her.

Max groaned. "Yeah, I think so." It hadn't hurt, but it hadn't felt good, either. He offered his hand and helped her back up and onto her feet.

"What happened?" Max looked back up at the door expecting to see her face again, but there no sign of El, and she would have considered the possibility that she had imagined the whole thing if it weren't for the way the board had felt slipping from underneath her... like it had been _pulled_.

"I don't know, I just... got distracted I guess, I'm fine." She grabbed her board as quickly as she could and headed for the gymnasium doors. "I'll uh, see you tomorrow," the _even if you don't want to see me_ was silent. Max ran out before he could say anything.

She ran as fast as her legs could manage, through the school hallways down the stairs, around every twist as quickly as she could. Her legs had already started to burn when she pushed her way through the heavy front doors, only stopping when she reached the road. She rested her hands on her knees and caught her breath right there, in the middle of the parking lot, eyes searching frantically for even a glimpse of that black jacket and curly hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so apparently it's Friday of last week. I'm sorry this is so late, it was harder to get right then I thought it would be. This is the first chapter that I really started to play with the canon, so I'm kind of nervous about it. Also, not really important but if you have Wattpad and you feel like showing me some love please leave a comment or a vote on this story, I'd really appreciate it (Taylahlovee.) Thank you for everyone who is still here for this!


	10. Chapter 10

El could already feel the hot tears stinging the corners of her eyes as she ran. They slid down her cheeks as she made her way down the long hallways, and continued to as she ran out the building and back to the cover of thick trees on the other side of the road. She stopped after she was sure she couldn't be seen, and slid down the trunk of the closest one, bark scraping at her back through the material of her clothes. She pulled her legs up to her chest and tried to calm herself, but it was as if she was still surrounded by those cold brick walls. Like they were all around her, closing in, and despite the cool breeze that ruffled her hair she somehow felt too hot all over, and struggled to breathe well enough to supply her brain with air. The fuzzy feeling behind her eyes was proof enough of that. She held her face in her hands- her tears running down her fingers and down her wrists- and in the dark empty space her closed eyes provided, the image of Mike and Max together replayed, over and over, like a film stuck on one moment. Every time, it sent another wave of hurt through her.

El wiped the hot tears from her face angrily. Why couldn't she just be normal? Why did she have to be so- what was it? _Jealous?_ Was that the right word? She didn't care. She just wished she could be happy. Why couldn't she be happy? She should have been, two of her favourite people seemed like they were getting along, so why couldn't she control the sinking feeling in her chest at the sight of them smiling at each other? Why hadn't she been able to hold her feelings back long enough to realise she didn't want to hurt Max? Not really. She'd just been- _was_ still mad, but if she could take it back she would in an instant, and it had been bad luck on Max's side that it had happened to be her. El had been equally angry at both of them, it had only Max because she was closer, because she'd been on her board, because she was the louder one of the two and drew El's attention at the time and all she'd been able to see was a target to release some of her rage out on. But when she'd looked down at the redhead on the ground she hated herself. _That's the problem with my powers. I end up hurting the people I care about._ "El?"

She'd only just heard Max's footsteps before her voice, which was filled with an emotion El couldn't quite pinpoint. Sadness? Regret? A mix of both? El was sure she could hear sadness in her voice, too, and when Max knelt down beside her it showed on her face, plain as the freckles on her pale skin. For some reason that stung more than she thought it would. She didn't want Max to feel sorry for her.

It reminded her of the way some of Papa's workers had looked at her when she was in the lab. The way their eyes swept over her when they thought no one would notice, that look of pity that- up until a few weeks ago El hadn't had a word for- that sympathetic look that she'd learned to hate. She turned her head away again, not wanting to face that look any longer. She was fine. She didn't need anyone- and definitely not Max, the one person she thought understood her- to look at her like that. El was fine. _Fine fine fine._

"El, look at me." When El ignored her words, she added a soft, " _please_ ," to the end of her sentence, and she hated Max in that moment, because El knew she'd never be able to turn Max down, not really, and especially not when she spoke like that, soft and sweet and pleading, so different yet so similar to her usual tone. It always broke her, and she was sure it always would.

"Max?" she turned again, her eyes locking with those familiar ocean ones. She frowned. "Don't-" she stumbled over her words in her head. It was frustrating, to know what she wanted to say but not be able to put it all together properly- to have all the words in her head, but have so much trouble stringing them together. It drove her crazy, to have so many things going on inside her head that she couldn't even express properly. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" Max asked, curiosity overtaking pity. Good. "What do you mean?"

"Like- like you feel sorry. For me." Her eyes widened and her lips parted silently. "I'm fine."

"I didn't mean it," she promised. El noticed the way she picked at the skin around her fingernails nervously. "Look, if I overstepped and boundaries, I didn't mean to. Whatever you think you saw, it was nothing. Come on, I mean does Mike really seem like my type?" She laughed.

El smiled, and for a moment everything was okay. And then she had to ruin it, like everything else. She just had to think about Mike in that moment, had to remind herself of the way he looked whilst smiling. How he'd looked smiling at Max, how it felt seeing her smile at him, and then that feeling had to come back. It was confusing. _So_ confusing. She didn't know what she wanted. On one hand she missed being smiled at like that, being the one that smile was directed at. Seeing it being used on Max had reminded her of how everything had been, for that small amount of time.

Now it was Max who smiled at her like that, and whenever she thought of being with Mike again- whenever she thought of the possibility of holding his hand or kissing him, like that one time he'd leant forward and pressed his lips to hers- it didn't feel the same as it used to. When she'd first started to feel things for him that she didn't understand, imagining those things, even being close to him made her feel as if butterflies were trying to escape her body. But since she'd met Max, whenever she thought about Mike in a more-than-friendly sort of way, his long, rough fingers were replaced with smaller, softer hands, familiar short dark hair grew into bright red waves, his eyes morphed into a deep shade of blue that put the ocean to shame, and when she imagined his smile it was no longer formed by his oddly small mouth. It was always full, pink lips curving up at the sides. When she thought about kissing him, she didn't wonder whether it would be like their first. She was too busy comparing it to her first spine-tingling experience that had taken place that afternoon on the roof of the cabin whilst the sun set. She'd thought what she wanted was Mike. It had been for almost a whole year, and now that she'd gotten so close she wasn't so sure she wanted it anymore. "El, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"If you're upset about me and Mike-"

"I'm not. I just... want to be alone."

"El..."

"Leave me alone. Please." She looked down at her hands and absentmindedly pulled her knees up to her chest as she tried to listen to what Max was saying, but all she could pay attention to was the familiar ache in her chest. It was something that had happened often in the past, even after she'd escaped the lab. When she was stressed, or scared, or just feeling too much. She'd curl into herself, the world around her forgotten. It hadn't happened in a long time, since she'd moved in with Hopper they had been a rare occurrence but El could already feel it now. She was pushing the other girl away. She wasn't meaning to, but she was. She felt like she couldn't talk, couldn't move, couldn't breathe. Like she was trapped in that small cupboard again, the one Papa had always been particularly fond of locking her in when she hadn't done what he'd wanted her to. El watched as Max's eyes hardened. Her stomach dropped. _Please don't be mad_ , she wanted to say but she couldn't get the words out. "No."

"Max-"

"No! I'm not leaving. Look, I'm sorry for whatever I did, but you can't just push me away. I want to be here for you but you have to let me."

"I don't want you here. I want you to go away." Max opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out. It was just silence. Not the usual comfortable silence that they usually fell into. This one was full of some kind of tension that El didn't quite understand. "Max-" she managed, "Max I'm sorry, I- I didn't mean it."

"It's fine." Max's voice had a hard edge that El had never heard before, and it made her flinch against her own body. "I get it. We barely know each other, right? I mean, we're practically strangers. You know nothing about me, and I clearly don't know anything about you. Why would you want me around?"

"What? No, that's- that's not-"

"Look, I understand that you're freaking out about something, whether it's because of me or something else, and you don't want to tell me but I'm not going to sit here and try to be here for you, worry about you for you to just- just shut me out because you never got the chance to learn how to trust or let anyone in. I'm sorry if they fucked you up so much that you think you can't let anyone know what's going on in your head-" El let out a small whimper that cut her off. "Shit," Max muttered above her. She looked up to see guilt forming on her freckled face. "El, that came out wrong..." her voice trailed off as she looked at the other girl, noticing how she'd started to shake. "What's going on?" she sounded panicked, but El couldn't find any words, she just let out another whimper and closed her eyes, screwing them shut as tight as she could. "El, what's happening? What's wrong with you?" Max's voice sounded kind in her ears, but those words struck a chord somewhere deep in her chest and the urge to run that came with it was too strong to ignore. She was running before she even realised it, body moving before her mind could catch up.

El ran, until her legs ached and her chest burned, her body begging her to stop. She ran until she couldn't anymore. She could hear Max's voice somewhere behind her calling out, and she hid herself between a large tree, hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. Max called out her name again and again, closer every time but El didn't move. It was almost funny, how this made her think of the time they'd first met. How Max had ran after her. Except this time was different. After a couple of minutes, Max's voice stopped calling, and El was sure she'd gone. She knew it was her fault. She'd been the one that ran after all, but the thought of Max walking away from her made a heaviness grow in her stomach and more tears prick at her eyes. She stayed there for a while, tried to calm herself down as best she could. It didn't work. She trudged home after that, chest still heavy, and to make matters worse, Hopper was there, waiting for her when she got inside. _Great_ , she thought. Everything that could have possibly gone wrong that day, had gone wrong.

El tried to fix the television the next morning, after Hopper had left. He'd unplugged it after their fight last night and even though she tried to fix it her attempts were no use, she soon discovered. She had no idea what to do. She almost wished she hadn't gone in the first place, all she did was make things worse. Worse with Max, worse with Hopper, and now she had no tv to distract herself with, either. She cleaned everything up, eventually, mainly because she had nothing better to do, but partly because the mess reminded her of the night before, and she hated thinking about it again. The cleaning was boring, but it was better than sitting around with nothing to distract herself from thinking. At least it was something. She found it whilst she was sweeping, the door. It was small, which explained why it had been hidden well enough, before now, by the couch. She was drawn to it immediately, and with a nod of her head, the chair flew backwards to reveal it completely.

As if her body was on autopilot, El pulled it open and peered down into the darkness, squinting her eyes which were met with what looked like... _boxes?_ Lots of them. She tried to make out some of the labels, but she could barely see a thing. Without a second thought she went and grabbed one of Hopper's backup flashlights from the bottom drawer of his beside table, where she knew he always kept one, and came back. She bent down and dropped her head down through the door, shining the flashlight over the boxes until she came to one that made her hand freeze. One that had big blue uppercase letters that spelt out Hawkins Lab. El motioned towards herself with her hand and the box jumped from it's place on the floor with a bang, sliding towards her. She grabbed it with both hands and with more strength than she thought she'd be able to manage without her abilities, pulled the box out. It landed beside her loudly, and she pushed the small door closed before shoving the box over towards the couch and pulling the lid off. El reached out and grabbed up the top file, grasped it between her shaky fingers, and flicked it open to the first page...

Max flung herself on the bed with a loud sigh. That could have gone better. She knew that she'd borderline freaked out on Lucas, but she was tired of feeling like she was being excluded, like one second they were friends and the next she was the new girl all over again. It frustrated her to no end, even if she knew it was really only Mike who didn't want her in the party, because of she also knew the others could have put up more of a fight for her to join if the really wanted her to. It seemed that she was having no luck with relationships of any kind right now. She'd completely screwed things up with El because she couldn't help running her stupid mouth, and now she'd gone off at Lucas. She wouldn't be surprised if he didn't want to talk to her ever again.

Refusing to be stuck in her feelings for any longer, Max pulled herself up and headed to the living room where their record player sat on its stand, tucked away in the corner. She wasn't really supposed to use it, but whenever she was home alone she couldn't resist slipping one of her mother's old records in and sitting in the small armchair next to it. In her opinion, it was much better than listening to the radio. Max relaxed against the seat as Elvis' voice flooded the room and it wasn't long before she was humming along happily, eyes closed. For those few minutes, it was as if everything that had built up on her shoulders in the last week had been demolished, replaced only by a wave of calmness that she was only able to find when she was lost in music.

The spell was broken when the song ended and Max got up to flip the record to it's b-side. Embarrassingly, her foot got caught on the small, floral rug that peeked out from underneath the stand, but she managed to grab the wood and steady herself before she could. She huffed in annoyance after she'd regained her balance, glad that there'd been no one home to have witnessed it, and looked down at the pushed up rug. That was when she noticed it. Max scrunched her eyes up questioningly, even as she dropped down to her knees to push the rug back as far as she could to examine the outline of the hatch in the floor. After hastily getting back on her feet, Max managed to pull the stand back far enough that she could fully uncover the small door in the wood. She went to pull it open, but the sound of the lock resisting stopped her. Max frowned at that. Her mother hardly ever locked anything.

After almost every inch of the house, and trying every key she could get her hands on, she found a particularly small golden key in her mum's bedroom, taped to the inside of the jewellery box Neil had bought her. Once she'd pulled it free from the roof of the drawer and sat herself down next to the record player again, Max opened the palm of her hand where the key sat, staring back at her. She was sure it was the right key, and her stomach flipped nervously when she reached out to test it and it slid in effortlessly. She hesitated for second before successfully twisting the key and pushing the hatch open to reveal a single cardboard box. Max's eyebrows furrowed. She crawled forwards to pull the box up and out, it landed next to her with a soft thud. She had no idea what she expected to be inside, but her hands still shook slightly with nerves when she pulled it open, and when she did- when she opened the first file and read over the title of the news article in her fingers- all her unease about what the contents could be suddenly made sense, as if she'd subconsciously known what it was.

_Indiana woman removed from_   
_Hawkins General Hospital by local authorities_

_Claims hospital staff lied about her miscarriage to steal her child_

Her throat felt dry as her eyes skimmed over the rest of the article.

 _INDIANAPOLIS / HAWKINS—Indiana resident Susan Mayfield faced charges when she returned to Hawkins General Hospital less than a week after her miscarriage to find her_ _daughter. When turned away she became verbally aggressive and was asked to leave but refused. Hospital security was called to remove Mrs Mayfield from the building and_

Max stopped mid sentence and slammed the folder shut in anger. She'd read enough. Tears strung the corners of her eyes and she forced them back. So that was how they'd gotten away with it. They'd told her she'd miscarried. "Fuckers," she muttered, furiously flipping through the next document. Then the next. And the next after that. She skimmed through the last page and threw the entire thing onto the floor beside her. She didn't realise she was crying until she felt the warm tears hit her cheeks. She wiped them away with shaky fingers and blinked the rest away. She didn't know what to think. She had no idea where to fucking _start_ , but- she realised- there was only one person she could talk to about this. Max chewed on her lip nervously. One person who she'd probably just messed everything up with.

She picked up the file again and flipped back to the front page. Her eyes met the afternoon sky through the window, shades of red and orange and pink mixing together to create a constantly changing kaleidoscope of colour. There was only one person who had any chance even beginning to understand, one person she knew she could trust, and that person was El.


End file.
